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The Chart of Unity

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Al Ngullie



Stress is the only weight loss regime that gives you a slim figure. No wonder that many Journalists are anorexic. Why would you blame them? Just read any newspaper. But there are perks. Editing a press statement from an organization recently, a casual “inspiration” from the stress interrupted my work. Might it be immensely strange that the more the Nagas seek unity, the deeper their disunity becomes?  Here is a ‘chart’ explaining the loudest advocates of unity in the Naga spectrum today:

Peace and Unity Advocates

Nagaland Government divided into 4 basic groups:
•    The I-Eat-Cash
•    The I-Shit-Cash
•    The I-Give-Cash and
•    The I-Take-Cash

Naga civil leaderships disintegrated into:
•    The Naga Hoho
•    The Eastern Naga Peoples’ Organization

Naga civil community disintegrated into:
•    The You-Are-Responsible-for-Our-Backwardness
•    The Oh-Really? What-Makes-You-Think-We-are-Advanced

Naga Mothers’ Association bereft of
•    Watsu Mungdang

Naga Students’ Federation bereft of
•    Eastern Naga Students’ Federation

All Nagaland College Students’ Union bereft of
•    Eastern Nagaland College Students’ Union (formed just recently)

Nagaland Baptist Church Council disintegrated into
•    Let’s send out more missionaries to foreign countries
•    No, I say concentrate more on Prohibition
•    No, just build gigantic churches,
     and another group called
•    The If-I-Don’t-attend-Church-on-Christmas Day-or-New Year’s Day Etc-God-Won’t-Bless-Me

NSCN disintegrated into:
•    The NSCN (Isak/Muivah)
•    The NSCN (Khaplang)
•    The NSCN (Khole/Kitovi)

NNC/FGN disintegrated into:
•    The NNC/FGN (“accordist”)
•    The NNC/FGN (“non-accordist”)

Nagaland disintegrated into two principal tribes:
•    The My  tribe Can Kick Your Tribe’s Twat
•    The Oh Yeah? Give Ya Best Shot, Loser!

And the two tribes disintegrated into:
•    The My Clan has More IAS officers than Yours
•    The Oh yeah? Who Did You Think Appointed Them?

And Clan disintegrated into:
•    The NO,  you will NOT marry into that Clan
•    The NO, We won’t allow him/her marrying into our Clan
 
Popular Journalist and Columnist Al Ngullie is today the only Naga Media personality from Nagaland with the highest index on the Internet. National and international newspapers, magazines and internet institutions have published the works of the All-India Journalists Inclusive Media Fellowship Award fellow. Young but accomplished, brilliant, shy and soft-spoken yet an unpredictable prankster, Ngullie is also considered one of the best Reporting Journalists from Nagaland as well as a pioneer of contemporary satire and creative writing from amongst Nagas. Al adores his mother whom he calls the “beautifulest and bestest.” Write to him at alngullie@yahoo.com. You can also stay updated through his Facebook fanpages/groups)

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