..tiny bits from one ordinary life

Jungtina Jamir

A simple faith, a quiet faith
Not complicated, something you feel
and that’s the risk you take when you pick a simple faith.....

“On a quiet station I wish to say goodbye to my loved ones and see them get on a bus that takes them away forever…… instead of seeing them die here on earth”, said a dear friend of mine. It’s true that we never know something’s unless we feel it ourselves. It’s also true; we don’t know what we got till it’s gone. 

As a child, time went by very slow. I didn’t seem to grow at all. A year’s time was like a year. But now, as I grow older, a year’s time seems like a day. Time moves really fast and basically, there seems to be no time at all. Everyday encounters are a handful of joy, excitement, blessing, but also pain and questions. 

I read Abhishek’s article “Chat with God” days back. The last line hit me. It read: “..keep the faith and drop the fear……life is a mystery to solve and not a problem to resolve…..life is wonderful if you know how to live”. Unfortunately, I often keep looking for a purpose for my existence. My atheist friend and I had a conversation just few days back. And my god, the way he shot at me with questions was like something I knew was coming since the day I started really believing in the Higher Being. I did not have answers for any of his questions. He really wanted to know, or at least asked me to show one person who could answer his questions. I guess nothing did prove fruitful for him. What he doesn’t know, or perhaps know, is that I haven’t looked for tomorrow in my life like I used to before. I don’t feel the need of it. I’ve been told by some people that it is arrogance on my part. Perhaps. But I believe in God. As for life, it’s always a love-hate relationship. Every day!! I believe in celebrating God by doing good for fellow human beings. I believe it needs getting in and getting your hands dirty doing God’s work rather than sitting quietly talking about other people who are doing God’s work. And if I’m wrong, well, then those traditional Christians will have the last laugh, I guess. 

I took a leap of faith in something that will eventually go away. I guess we all do that. Of course, I am not talking about the higher kind of leap; the God-faith-leap. But about the things we do here on earth. So, the thought inside my head now is, will it hurt in the end? A college friend of mine lost her fiancé in a family feud. An uncle passed away years back leaving behind his wife and two kids. My friends fell in love, they couldn’t get past the “I do” because of reasons only they know. Many of my friends have lost someone in their families and they tell me that I am never gonna be prepared for something like death. 

Tell me, does your blood sometimes suddenly rush up your head and you feel you can’t breathe at all? Your pulse rises and you don’t know why? Does your head sometimes tell you to scream out loud and jump around like a happy bunny? Does your eye suddenly form big drops of tears when you think of something? Does your friend gives you a call and you can’t stop talking? Does your mom sometimes keep too quiet that it makes you feel guilty? Does your brother or sister irritate you so much that you guys end up chasing each other in the house? Ever thought seriously that all these things and more will ‘stop’ someday? Ever? Perhaps of your self-centeredness or perhaps of death, maybe circumstance? Or how about insanity? ……
What’s left in the end then??…. your simple-faith is all that’s left. 

In the end…

...I think a simple faith isn’t very simple at all...