Noel Manuel
The gift of love has no boundaries nor has it any limits. It is an everlasting theme that binds castes, religions and people. When it comes to our kids we make all attempts to define love in so many different ways. But truly, there is only one definition that we can relate of love to our kids – Latch Onto Valuable Ethics - LOVE.
We all try our very best to ensure that are children are provided with nothing less than the very best. And to this end, we gather whatever resources we have at hand, to gift our children the best education, good health and even, at times, trod the extra mile to fulfill their wants more than their needs.
Our children become our purpose for survival and very often, we hear people quell their stress with remarks such as, ‘Who and what are we working for?
There are three basic rights that we need to fulfill as parents. The right to education. The right to good health and the right to protection (home and food). Whatever we give thereafter is a gift to the child. Gifts that could either enhance the self-esteem of the child or just shatter it. The gift of love is not materialistic. It does not come in the form of money either. As unique as the expression in itself, the gift of love, in parenting terms, literally means assisting your child to – Latch Onto Valuable Ethics – LOVE.
What are ethics? Ethics are the science of moral principles that control and influence a person’s behaviour. It enables them to discover life from a perspective that involves a system connected with beliefs and principles about what is right and what is wrong.
In fact, our life evolves so much on ethics, that no matter what we do, our code of ethics (LOVE) is poised to be reflected in each event, and this could either enhance our partnership between castes, religions and people or merely disintegrate it.
The code of ethics practically involves everything that we do during our lifetime. Since it defines our moral principles that control and influence our behaviour, I personally feel that, it is one of the most ideal gifts that any parent would want to gift to their child. Without this gift, the child would lack the iota of thought and belief about what is right and wrong and what is important in life.
In my life, I have often come across many parents who influence their love for their children with money, gifts and so many other entertaining items. It is good and only natural that we display such an affection from time to time, provided we know just when to draw the line. However, we often overdo it. We all love to pamper and eventually turn our children into spoil brats. This gradually diminishes the moral fibre or rather the inner strength of the child to do what is believed to be right in difficult situations.
A fashion designer who was shot dead in a night club in Delhi a couple of years ago just reflects how morally disintegrated our parenting paradigms have become. She became a victim to the trigger of a spoilt brat, who wielded more money and political power than the required power of ethics. He was oblivious of what was right and what was wrong. He lacked the principles of ethics and the victim had to pay for this with her life.
How often have we hurt the sentiments of others when we failed to ‘Latch Onto Valuable Ethics?’
They say that life is full of ups and downs. And the truth is that there are more downs than ups. Besides we are also told that the road to success is never easy. It is a difficult and treacherous path. What is success? Is it accumulation of wealth? Well, for those who say that they are successful because they are wealthy need to rethink and examine if they are rich ethically or rich financially.
There were two friends that studied in the same school and grew up together. They were the best of pals and wherever they went and whatever they did, they did it together. The two boys were inseparable. One of the boy’s father was a rich businessman and other was a farmer. The rich boy had a selfish attitude and often showed off his latest clothes and toys that his father brought him from his regular business trips. The farmer’s son on the other hand only looked on in admiration. One day while the two boys were playing near an abandoned well they both accidentally fell into it. There was no way they could be saved and the farmer’s son knew this. Their shouts for help went unheard. There were steps made of metal pieces protruding from the walls of the well. But they were too high to reach. And only if one of them helped the other, could the steps be reached. Without second thoughts, the poor boy lifted his friend onto the steps and the rich boy quickly scrambled out to safety. After he reached the top he shouted to his friend below that he would soon be back with help. On reaching his house, he informed his father and mother of what had happened. They all returned to the well with a number of men. They managed to pull the poor boy out. But to their dismay, he was lifeless. He had died.
After a couple of weeks, the farmer, while cleaning his son’s room chanced upon a letter. It was addressed to the rich boy. It read, ‘My Dear Friend, I really admire how lucky you are to have such rich parents. But this does not mean I consider myself unlucky. Everytime you show me your clothes and toys made me look on in admiration. And believe me I was always supportive of your fortunes. But never once did you ever acknowledge my display of wealth. The wealth I had displayed before you was never visible and perhaps that was the reason why you failed to recognize it. But I can assure you my friend, that one day this wealth will be made visible and you will acknowledge me for life – though then, it may have been too late. But please do acknowledge my wealth. On receiving the letter, the friend wept. After a few months he built a memorial over the abandoned well with an epitaph that read.
The unknown gifts
I did not see
Made my friend
Die for me
He was wealthier
Now that I know
But never too late
These gifts to sow
As parents and teachers, we know and believe that without the gift of love, we fail to get the required results from our kids. We also know that it is only through love, can we bring out the very best performance from our kids. But knowing this does not actually help us much. It is also equally important to understand the true definition of LOVE in parenting terms. And unless we help our children to Latch Onto Valuable Ethics – LOVE, all others forms of love are artificial and superficial.
noelmanuel@rediffmail.com
The writer is the Coordinator of the Northeast Region (Poetry Society of India) and Life Member of the Poetry Society of India. Journalist and Correspondent Eastern Panorama (News Magazine of the Northeast) Phonetics Teacher.
