Even a small gesture impacts us, doesn't it?
African-American poet Countee Cullen spent the summer when he was eight in Baltimore, Maryland. Shortly after he arrived he noticed a little white boy staring at him. Countee smiled, but the little boy did not smile back. Instead, he stuck out his tongue and called him a “nigger.”
As years wore on, the little white child most likely forgot the gesture. He was never aware of the pain he inflicted on a little black eight-year-old boy. But the truth is---everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else.
Educator and writer Leo Buscaglia put it like this: The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our encouragement, who will need our unique talents; someone who will live a happier life merely because we took time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, a compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
But there’s something I want to add here. So many of us are nice because we have to be nice, help someone because we want to do our good deed for the day. Our heart is not in it. But when what we do is what we really feel then there is a huge big difference.
There’s this humorous story of Martin: Martin wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
Martin looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. He notices a note on the table. “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!” So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Martin asks, “Son what happened last night?”
“Well,” says his son, “you came home around 3 am, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door.”
Confused, Martin asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!”
His son replies, “Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to clean you up and take your clothes and shoes off, you not knowing who it was said, “Lady leave me alone! I’m married!”
Martin’s heart was in the right place. Even when drunk he was loyal to his wife, and that’s the thought I would like to leave you with, that everything we do or say counts, but don’t do or say things because it counts, do it because your heart says so..!
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and author. He blogs at www.bobsbanter.com and can be reached at bobsbanter@gmail.com
