Imtijungla Longchar
Money matters are basically the hottest topic in marriage. Money affects our everyday lives. Spending money more than earning makes a marriage pained. Each one of us wants to be secure and protected. This longing for security leads you to define who you are and what you are! It determines where you are going to live, what you are going to eat and what you are going to do. Money builds as well as ruins a marriage. Money builds a marriage because it provides our daily needs and allows us to enjoy all the luxuries of life. Money ruins a marriage because it destroys compassion, time, energy and relationship when we become too greedy.
Money is the biggest issue in most marriages. Research shows that one of the biggest stressors felt by married couples is money. Money has become a horror in many homes of this modern world. Perhaps the leading cause of misunderstandings, suspicion, fight and divorce are all due to money matters.
Many couples have not educated themselves to keep their expenditure within the limit of their income. They borrow again and again and become overwhelmed in debt and consequently many couples become discouraged and even ruin their marriages. The truth is that most couples spend all they have and never have enough. I’ve come to realize that many couples fail to plan ahead financially.
How Can You Make A Financial Plan?
To be honest, no family budget is simple. You and your spouse can discuss prayerfully and put a lot of thought into that plan. Talk about the fixed expenditures, major purchase and special expenditures and try to simplify your budget as much as possible. You may have your own financial chart, but here I am just helping you with some points to start with:
• Tithes and offering
• Shelter: Take out the money for house rent, electricity, telephone, water, gas, etc.
• Food: Take out the money for all the groceries, vegetables, school tiffins.
• Education: School tuition fees, exam fees, etc.
• Clothing: For new clothes if necessary, cleaning, repairs etc.
• Health: Medical expenses, medicine, cosmetics, etc.
• Transportation: Oil, repairs, fares, etc.
• Gifts: Birthdays, weddings, mothers’ day, fathers’ day, Christmas, funerals, etc.
• Debt reduction: Bank loan, office loan, loan from moneylenders etc.
• Saving: Money set aside for future needs may be for children’s schooling, to buy a plot of land, a new car etc.
• Emergency needs: Keep aside some money for unseen expenditures.
• You can add your own personal allowances and other taxes.
Ronald Blue says, “there are only five ways to use the money that comes into your household: Giving, Supporting your life style, Repaying debts, Meeting your tax obligations, Accumulating.”
Only some families use all these five ways. Many average families spend their money in supporting their self life and most of the families spend their monthly income in repaying debts which allows them to borrow for the rest of the month for existence and they are never out of debt.
How Can We Get Out of Debt?
About 90% of the families run into debt. With all the privileges of loans in the banks, with all the facilities of credit in the markets, with all our friends, neighbours, relatives, and colleagues coming and requesting us to buy clothes, bags, shoes, cosmetics and even vegetables on credit, our financial tensions mount. When we buy something on credit we never remember the word ‘debt’, we seem so happy as if we get everything free but only when the time comes to pay the credit, we realize our mistake!
What does the Bible say about debt?
The Bible says that debt is slavery. Solomon says in proverbs 22:7 “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.” When we are in debt we are in the position of a servant, and the more we are in debt, the more we are compelled to serve. The Apostle Paul warns us in Rom 13:8 “Let no debt remain outstanding.” Howard L. Dayton suggests ten steps for getting out of debt. This include prayer, establishing a written budget, listing your assets-everything you own, your liabilities-everything you owe, establishing a debt repayment schedule for each creditor, consider earning additional income, accumulating no new debt, being content with what you have, considering a radical lifestyle change and lastly, not giving up.
The steps are easy. But it is hard work to follow them. It is still hard work getting out of debt, but the freedom to be gained is worth the effort. Dr. Lee Hyung-Ja’s story is very fascinating. “One day, Choi soon-young, the husband of Lee Hyung-Ja revealed that the business he had inherited from his father was over a million dollars in debt. They could not even pay the interest of the loan. Lee Hyung-Ja even thought of running away to America to avoid facing disgrace before her friends and family. She saw her husband’s despair and depression everyday. In desperation she prepared to visit the home of the president of the Bank that held their loan.
In a soft and gracious voice, belying her strength and perception, she explained her husband’s business situation. But the President refused her request. In spite of her embarrassment, Lee Hyung-Ja was driven by the crisis in her family to return to face the bank official again. Then he eventually responded mercifully to her plight and extended her loan. In the midst of these pressures, Lee Hyung-Ja came under deep conviction from God. ‘Why haven’t I been trusting the Lord in these matters?’ She asked herself. Convicted of her lack of faith, she began getting up to pray at four in the morning. The early morning times of prayer filled her heart with the consoling presence of God and the confidence that he had the answer to their perplexing problems.
‘Our gracious Lord started to reveal His will through voices, visions, prophesies, dreams and most of all through the word of God. He answered most of my prayers faithfully. Through those detailed instructions my husband’s business revived again”, was her testimony.
Why Should We Save Money?
George Fooshee says; “People frequently use excuses for each stage of life as reasons for not saving money. These include the following:
Those in the age group of 25-30 years say they cannot save because “I’m just getting started, and my income is low”. The 30-40 age groups give the excuse that they have a young family to raise. Those between 40-50 years say they have children in college while the 50-60 age group says “my wife and I want to enjoy life”. Finally older people over 60 years say they cannot save now as “I am living with my son and his wife”.
“The wise man saves for the future, but the foolish man spends whatever he gets” (Proverbs 21:21).
Joseph listened to the voice of God and saved food during the seven abundant years so that there would be enough to eat during the seven years of famine (Genesis 41). Some people save to spend in time of need, some people save never to spend. However, almost all successful money managers save money to spend such savings are their secret for avoiding the dept trap. Saving to spend is the practical way to be the prudent man mentioned in Proverbs 22:3 “A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.”
God warns against trying to get rich quickly but He counsels us to build wealth slowly. As said in Proverbs 21:5 “the plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty”. Those who fully surrender their families to God and who take God’s word as their guide will know to conduct themselves in all the duties of life. With wise management they can save something.
Be a saver. No matter what stage of life you are in, now is the time to begin the saving habit. Money used wisely and prayerfully helps build a successful marriage. Money spent foolishly for pleasures and self-indulgences breaks a marriage. The choice is yours.
(The writer is a homemaker, teacher, writer and a well-known speaker)
