Theja Kaco
I’m back!!! I’m glad to be back writing again (I hope that at least some of you may be happy to see my writing again). This article is a real ‘story’ about me and a girl. Let’s call her ‘THE girl’. I won’t mention her name ‘cause I want to respect her privacy and also due to some other reasons. Just so you know, she hasn’t ‘threatened’ to ‘kill’ me (or anything like that) if I disclosed her name (unlike the other girl, remember?)
OK, here’s the ‘story’: It was in the summer of 2003 when I first saw ‘THE girl’. We were in the same college. She was a year junior to me. I was outside my biology practical class room. The lecturer hadn’t come yet. As I was talking with my friends outside the practical room, there she came -- all pretty and attractive, going to her classroom which was near the bio-practical room. It was ‘crush at first sight’. After that day I didn’t see her for the next few days.
My friend and I were staying in a rented house which was opposite the girl’s hostel. One day, me and my room-mate went to a nearby shop to buy ‘Britannia maska chaska’ and ‘American lays’ (mmm...) Anyways, guess who I see at the same shop (buying ‘meetha supari’) with her friends? Yup, it was ‘THE girl’. She looked even prettier that day. And from that day onwards I saw her occasionally. Every time I saw her I became more and more attracted to her. This might sound ‘unmanly’ but every time I was close to her I got tongue tied. I couldn’t muster up the courage to talk to her or start a conversation. But every time, thoughts rushed through my mind. I kept thinking, “Say ‘this’ to her” or “Say ‘that’ to her”. But unfortunately, I couldn’t say either “this” or “that” to her.
I thought that it would be better (and easier) if I got her messenger ID and chatted with her. So I did a LOT of asking around and sent out “search parties” to get her ID. Finally I got her ID; at least I thought it was her ID. But, God had other plans. It wasn’t her ID. But, fortunately, it was the ID of one of her friends. FINALLY, I got the ID of ‘THE girl’. I started to chat with her. I got to know her a lil’ bit better and vice versa. But curse my lack of courage; I couldn’t talk to her even after I got to know her better. We crossed each others path a few times but I don’t think I even said a simple “Hi” to her. She was with her friends every time I saw her and there were the common and clichéd comments, remarks and exclamations by her friends and the frequent giggling.
That did NOT help in building up my confidence (which was at an all time low) to go talk to her.
Fast forward the time --- and here I am, single and alone. Till date, I have NOT spoken to her face to face (although I have talked to her over the phone a couple of times). You can call me a ‘chicken’ because I too think that I’m a ‘chicken hearted’ guy, beneath my ‘confident’ facade, when it comes to girls. I would just like to say, in my defence, which I couldn’t talk to her ‘cause I thought (and still do think) that I’m not good enough for her. I have so many flaws and bad qualities that I would give Bin Laden a complex. Me and ‘THE girl’ together would be like ‘Beauty and the Beast’, with me being the Beast (obviously). Do you think this is sad? Well...it gets even worse. I got in touch with her a few weeks ago. This time called her up and told her everything. You know what she said? She said that she has a boyfriend now. She also said the she used to like me too. I was a kind of a bitter sweet-moment. “Bitter” in the sense that she has a boyfriend now and “sweet” in the sense that she used to like me too. But the thing is that it was (and still is) 99% bitter and only 1% sweet. You know what the irony of the situation is? The name of her present boyfriend is THEJA. NO, it’s not me. It’s some other Theja. How ironic can things get? It’s like the “irony of the 21st century”. I would kick my own butt for not asking her out or telling her my feelings a long time back. But sadly, it is not physically possible to kick ones own butt.
I hope that you guys and girls have learned from this ‘sad story’ (pun intended) of mine. They say, “The wise learn from the mistakes of the fools”. I’m the fool here. Be wise --- ask out the guy/girl (depending on your preference. It doesn’t matter whether you are straight or gay) you have a crush on or at least tell him/her your feelings. It’s alright if the guy/girl doesn’t reciprocate your feelings (you get rejected).
Its a million time better than knowing later, after its too late, that he/she too had a crush on you or was attracted to you too. But it does NOT, in any way, mean that you go on asking out every good looking guy/girl you see.
I end this ‘comeback article’ with a true but sad quote: “The hardest thing to do in this world is to see someone you love, love someone else”.
The writer can be contacted at: t13_xy@yahoo.co.in
