Allemsunup Jamir
It is amazing how God can use people in order to fulfill His mission. For me, it was just a message. But for someone like Wabang Longchari, the Director of Sinai Ministry and his team of talented members, it has become a mission. I take no credit for this book. The reason why this book is in your hands is because there was a man willing to be obedient and do anything that the Lord asked. That itself is something we all need to applaud. Wabang! You are on the right Track, can’t wait to see your later days. Till that day comes, continue walking in obedience.
There is a saying, “Big things come in small packages”. In the same way, this book is not just a booklet. It is not from the mind, but it is from the heart, loaded with true stories that are touching and inspirational. I want to encourage all of you to read it with an open heart. Your life and family will never be the same again. You might find yourself in some of the stories as you read on.
I am the youngest and the only son of my family. I grew up in a very secure home. My parents gave me the best education, sent me to the best schools, (just that I never wanted to be in those schools). I was known in the school for being the naughtiest and full of mysterious mischievous behaviors (let me not tell you) and the list goes on and on... Because of these behaviors, my dad brought me up in a very strict environment. And I was not spared from the “ROD”. (He understood that was said in Proverbs 23:4). Due to this strict upbringing, I never shared any closeness with my dad. I could not relate to him. Our conversations were few and always regarding some impersonal discussions such as my career and likewise. So even basic everyday interactions that would be considered normal otherwise, like asking for the car key or money was through my mum. My mum was the middle person who did all the business deals between me and my dad.
Along the way, I came to know the Lord and was radically saved and I truly wanted to walk with God. But my promises to walk with God did not go very far. It lasted for about a week. Then I was back to my same old ways. So, I had to be reborn again and again and it became a vicious cycle. Every time I committed sin, I thought God would inflict me with some disease or sickness or even kill me. That's the understanding of God I had. I had a very unhealthy knowledge about God. I never knew why? For me, God the father was a very harsh, rigid God. With such an understanding I was serving the Lord, winning souls, preaching. So many times, I have said, “God loves you”. I knew all the right words, but never really felt what I was talking about. On the other hand, my passion and zeal for God was slowly diminishing.
But it all changed in the year 2005 when I went to a discipleship school for a month, in Punjab. That's when I first heard this message from my spiritual father, Dr. John Joseph, President, TROTB Ministry. Since then, my life has never been the same again. I still remember that day, after hearing the message on the “Father's love” I cried like a baby. I cried and cried, and I cried. (Men cry too). It was in this school that I came to know who God really is, and most important of all, His love. I am still discovering His love everyday. His love and mercies are new every day.
You must be wondering, what does it have to do with you? Let me not answer it straight away, but by the time you come to the last page of this book, you will know where you stand today as a father and what this “HUG MISSION” is all about. So, with these few words, I would like to share with you the joy of “Father's Love”.
In the year 2007 in the month of May, I was coming to Dimapur from Kerala for a one-month break. On the day I left Kerala, I heard the Holy Spirit speaking to me clearly: “Alem, I want you to hug your Dad before you come down to Kerala.” I protested. No way! How would I hug my Dad? So many thoughts rushed through my mind. I told God that I was even willing to give a big offering if He does not demand me to hug my Dad! I lost, the Holy Spirit won. So the whole month of May I was ministering, but the thought of hugging my Dad caused me sleepless nights. My stay came to an end, and I was heading back to Kerala. Normally, my parents always dropped me to the station, but that night, my mum was in a deep sleep. Only now do I understand why Lord God put that deep sleep into my mum for if she had come to the station, I would have failed to hug my Dad. That night, it was raining cats and dogs and just the two of us were driving down to the railway station. I was sweating and restless. It was the longest drive I ever had though it was just a mere five minutes drive from my house. After we reached the station, my Dad and I just stood and waited for the train to move. When the train started to move, in a surprising and clumsy move, I hugged my dad. My dad was shocked to the core (thank God, he did not die of a heart stroke right there in the station!) After I reached Kerala, a call came from home. As I answered the phone, it was dad and not my mom. I did not realise that the hug I gave him would change our entire relationship. But it did!! You don't know what can happen with a little obedience to the Holy Spirit. Today, my relationship with my father is better than ever before.
But most important of all, this is where I would like you to give your attention. My relationship with God has taken a new leap after that Hug. The unhealthy fear and thoughts about God is all gone. Even if I do wrong, I boldly run to the throne of Grace. You may be asking then, as to how, just because I hugged my Dad, did I have an improved relationship with God the Father? Well, the word “father” is also used for God the Father. If we look into the Scriptures, in Luke 11: 11-13, it speaks about the father. “Which of you fathers, if asked for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him”. It is very clear to us that there is a profound comparison and connection between our earthly father and the Heavenly Father. So, when a father happens to represent himself in the wrong way to his children, not only does the relationship get strained, but the worst side effect is the children's lack of belief in God as a Loving Father. Until this is addressed and repaired, we human beings will always have a wrong understanding of God just like I had. Today, in the Church there are still many people who are still afraid of God. I'm not saying we should not be afraid of God, but we need a healthy understanding of God as a Loving Father in our Church even today.
There are many types of fathers, but I would like to bring out five types of a father in order to understand God as our Father in a healthier way.
1. Accusing father: An accusing father uses the weapon of words. He would just accuse. He compares the children with others and if something goes wrong in the family he puts the blame on the son or daughter. Even in a normal talk he always finds fault. So, a child from such a background develops insecurities, complexities and contempt, leading them to have an understanding that God the Father does not care; that they have to do more work, pray harder in order to be accepted by God. They feel that He has not answered their prayers.
2. Abusing father: This type of father knows how to bring up his children in one of the cruelest manners. A friend of mine was sharing with me that one night because he came home late, he was made to stand in the chimney by his father; a rather severe punishment for a small mistake. What happens here is that a child brought up in such a kind of environment has an understanding that God the Father never wants anyone to make any mistakes, and if they do, a punishment is the only solution.
3. Absent father: A short way to describe an absent father, this is a father who hardly stays at home. There are different types of an absent father. They are: divorced father, missionary father or even pastor (who is out there winning souls) and a dead father. In such kind of settings, a child feels left out; they wonder if their father ever existed. Though they may not verbally say it, they hardly remember the times spent with their father. For these people, they feel as if even though they pray, God will not answer their prayers, or God will never be there for them.
4. Passive father: A passive father hardly keeps his word. He is a laid back father, where the mother becomes the head of the family, because he does not want to take up any responsibilities. So, his children grow up taking God lightly, where their belief and trust in God is almost negligible.
5. Authoritarian father: Stem, strict. dictatorial, are some of the characteristics with which some fathers bring up their children. Whatever he says, the children have to obey. His word is final. The reason for this is because he feels that he will lose control or the respect of the children if he is not strict with them. In such kind of upbringing, the children feel that God is a very rigid and stern God. But God allows us the freedom of choice.
I am not trying to say that all the fathers are bad. But sometimes, because of the lack of knowledge, things go wrong, though it was done in the best of interest of the children. Some are blessed with loving fathers who love them unconditionally, directing them towards a very healthy relationship even with the Heavenly Father. A loving father helps his children to secure their life in the Love of God.
What does the Word of God have to say about God the Father? What is His nature and His characteristics? In order to understand this, I want to dwell on the Gospel of Luke 15: 11-31. We find the story of the Prodigal Son. Many people have used this, to act out a drama, or have used it as an evangelical tool to reach out to the unreached people efficiently. But there is a deeper meaning to the story, which was narrated by Jesus. He was explaining to the crowd, the heart and the love of God. We find that, the younger son asked for his inheritance and walked out from his father (God) and moved on to a far country. To make a long story short, the Bible says, “He lost everything”. He was so hungry that he even wanted to eat the pig's food. According to Leviticus 11:7-8, Deuteronomy 14:8, pigs were unclean animals. Pigs could not be eaten. To protect themselves from defilement; Jews would not even touch pigs. For a Jew to stoop to feeding the pigs was a great humiliation, he had truly sunk to the depths. But “when he came back to his senses” he decides to go back home. (I want to tell the readers that if you have been away from God for too long it's time you come back). The world just exploited and used him. The Bible says, “When he was still a long way off”, his father came running to him and hugged him. I want to pause here and tell you about the culture of Jews of that time. If a son leaves home in rebellion, and if he returns home, it was not acceptable. The elders in the village gate or city gate would bring an empty pot and smash it at his feet declaring he did not belong to that place anymore. Knowing this, the father was always on the look out, waiting for his son so that he could get to him before the elders of the town. Another interesting word in this story is in (verse 20): “...he runs to his son.” I assure you, if you are lost, and feeling condemned, guilt-ridden for the things you have done and it's haunting you till today, He is waiting for your return. And when He sees you from the distance He will run to you. It is only in this story that I have seen a father running for a son who had hurt him, used up all his wealth and was coming back home with nothing. Many of us want to clean up our act first and only then do we want to go to our father. That is where many people are today. We think that God accepts only those who are clean and pure.
This is where I had always struggled before. “But NO! !”, the Bible says, “.. .He threw his arms around him and kissed him...” The father does not ask him where he spent the money. He does not even bother to listen to what his son had to say. The father gives him the best robe, puts a ring on his finger and throws a party because his son had come back home. If you are thinking you have wasted your life and you don't stand a chance, I want to tell you, God is a God Who gives second chance. Just return to the Father today and you will be surprised at the gifts that are awaiting you. Your future will be greater than your past.
In order to understand the Love of God, there needs to be reconciliation between the children and the father. Call it my youth, but I did not understand then. I came to know the Love of God in a deeper way only after I released forgiveness to my dad for this strict upbringing even though it was for my own good. I was holding a lot of hurt and anger against my dad. It was only in 2005, after I heard this message; I repented for carrying all kinds of anger against my dad. And when I did that, my relationship with God was restored instantly. Something happens in the spiritual realm, when we release the forgiveness in the earthly realm. “What you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven”. You can have it as well. I am not saying that just because you “HUG” your children things will be alright. But sometimes it needs to go deeper. If there are issues that are to be dealt with or talked about, it needs to be done with all humility so that it will bring healing to your family. It is not only to the fathers I am talking. But even to the children. If you are reading this book and if you are being convicted by the Holy Spirit to make the move like the way I did, please do it. Don't wait for another day. You never know what tomorrow may bring. But as long as it is called today, if you have to do it, then now is the right time.
I would love to leave a note of thanks to my dad, Imzang Jamir:
"You are the best Dad I could have hoped for. No question about it, though I have disobeyed and hurt you many times. You have always been there for me. I want to say I love you; I thank God for giving me a father like you. I don't know if I can be like you when I become a father one day. Only time will tell. The reason where I am today is because of you and mum, otherwise I would have been lost. Thank you, Dad. My prayer is that you will live your life to the fullest, and enjoy the mercies and grace of God. "
Reference: Mike Bickle, Passion for Christ,
Charisma House, Florida,USA, 2007.
Dr. John Joseph, TROTB Ministry,
Trivandrum, Kerala.
