A friend of mine called me desperately, “You’ve got to help me, Bob!” he pleaded, “My wife has started becoming very cold to me. I suspect she is having an affair with her boss. He’s a very moneyed man, and I am sure he has won the affection of my partner!”
With a heavy heart I spoke to the wife, “Bob,” she said looking at me with tears in her eyes. “I don’t understand why he’s blaming me. For the last few years of our married life, he comes home from his job, ignores my greeting, shakes off my hug, stretches himself on the cot and gets up just before dinner, eats his food and goes to sleep. So, I decided I would stop trying to hug or greet him when he comes home!”
I laughed, explained to my friend that the problem was caused by him, not his wife and thought of another story:
A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to, and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone, say something to her and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response. Judging by the distance we will know how bad her hearing is!"
That evening, the wife was in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the hall. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Leila, what's for dinner?"
No response.
So, the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Leila, what's for dinner?"
Still no response
Next, he moves into the dining room where he is twenty feet away from his wife, and says, “Leila, what's for dinner?"
Again, he gets no response, so he walks up to the kitchen door just ten feet short from where his wife is standing and asks, “Leila what’s for dinner?”
Again, there is no response. So, he walks right up behind her and asks, “Leila what’s for dinner?”
Leila shouts back at him, “Sameer for the fifth time I am telling you, we are having fish for dinner!”
How easy it is, isn’t it to feel the other has a problem when it could be you..!
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and author. He blogs at www.bobsbanter.com and can be reached at bobsbanter@gmail.com
