Dr Asangba Tzüdir
Times are confusing where the only thing certain about the future is its uncertainty. It surely has also put those who were and are planning to say ‘I DO’ this year in a serious dilemma. And given the restrictions or rather the SOP’s imposed on weddings, it seems to have compounded the dilemma and thereby a difficult proposition to think out of the popular narrative of the ‘Naga Wedding Caravan’ and create a rather simple but meaningful form within the restricted format.
Generally, the ‘Naga wedding caravan’ proudly exalts the banner ‘I DO’, however, at the backdrop, the phrase gets prefixed with ‘so much for I do’, to confess and commit before God and man as witness. Sadly, a lot of ‘unnecessary sound, lights and action’ goes into the making of the ‘platform’ to ritualistically say ‘I DO.’
Blindly blame it on the so called modern – a mistaken modernity rather than sensibilities, but it has created a trend that for those ‘un-following’ this trend becomes more or less a ‘sin’, and therefore too good a sin to commit rather than ignore. As such, weddings have become a big pompous enterprise.
Picking an aspect, not long ago, the idea of a ‘wedding planner’ was so ‘Western.’ It is an aspect of the ‘trend’ that adds to the already glamorous profile. Needless to say, Naga weddings today is marked by more focus on unnecessary ‘sounds and lights’ rather than on meaning and essence. Apart from being a costly affair, as if to ensure the costs incurred, it is also not surprising to see wedding cards openly seeking ‘monetary gifts.’ Marriage is a solemn and an honorable union, but often defiled with not so honorable things.
What can be more insulting to the Holy vow - ‘I DO’ is the fact that the wedding nights are often marked by not so honorable parties, seemingly indicating that the Holy vow taken before God and man as witness expires its validity right after the wedding ceremony.
The emotionally ritualized phrase that creates anxiety is the ‘once in a life time affair’ and which is also guilty of making Naga weddings gratuitously ‘loud and glamorous.’ And like the presence of the good Lord is not enough, a wedding that is graced by someone from the ‘political’ arena defines the status of the wedding. ‘Poisa kiman ahishe’ is another defining parameter to determine the ‘bigness’ of the wedding.
The phrase ‘once in a lifetime affair’ has sold off our sensibilities, rationality and moral judgment and ending in a painful and draining tale. Rather, every day is a ‘once in a life time affair’ to fill the “unforgiving minutes” with meanings.
The very understanding of ‘making it large’, needs a shift from the material to the essence – of spiritual and the fulfillment of God’s purpose. For nothing can be bigger than God’s presence and His showers of blessing. The Naga weddings need a drastic shift from being materialistically symbolic to the meaning and the fulfillment of God’s purpose. As religio-moral beings and going by the present trend of pompous weddings, there is a lot of rethinking and unlearning to do. A complete lowering of the unnecessary ‘lights and sound’ cannot be expected but even a decibel lower can make a huge difference to the bills.
However uncertain it is, the current pandemic has provided an opportunity to make the vows meaningfully big in the eye of God rather than being big in the eye of humans. Times may seem confusing and may be seen as the worst of times, but for those who focus on meaning and purpose, it is the best of times.
(Dr. Asangba Tzudir contributes a weekly guest editorial to the Morung Express. Comments can be emailed to asangtz@gmail.com)
