Robert Clements
Holly Madison, the former girlfriend of Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, insured an attractive part of her body for 1 million dollars. She said that she insured her famous assets with Lloyd's of London to protect them while appearing in her Las Vegas production, 'Peepshow'.
One million dollars!
I can imagine insurance people all over the world, jubilantly realizing that here is a wonderful opportunity to garner insurance policies: Just go across to everybody, start frightening them about what they value the most.
“Sir you have a good handshake!”
“Thank you, thank you, it took me many hours of exercising to get these hand muscles!”
“It would take just a fracture of a finger to lose all that hard work sir!”
“Why do you say such terrible things!”
“We do it for your own good sir. Let us insure that hand for you, that in case you ever lose that grip, you will be compensated.”
“Yes, without this handshake of mine, I will be devastated.”
“Not if you insure it sir!”
And the insurance man goes across to a Miss India contest. “You have a lovely smile ma’am!”
“Thank you, thank you!”
“But a jealous boyfriend could ruin it. So many cases of ex-boyfriends throwing acid, you know. Tut! Tut! So sad!”
“What a horrible thing to say!”
“No ma’am it is better to be prepared for all eventualities!”
“So what do you suggest I do? Wear a mask?”
“Oh no, those lips are meant to be seen, but have a look at this policy!”
And the insurance people are overjoyed.
Till one day, they meet this good-looking guy, or it could be a girl too.
“Hi sir, what a wonderful physique you have, you look like Dara Singh!”
“Thank you!”
“But sir, imagine if you had a motorbike accident!”
“I guess a fracture here and there is part of life.”
“Imagine sir, if you could never walk again, and people came and saw you in bed, what would they see?”
“Why me ofcourse. Maybe a little bandaged. Maybe a limp later: All my muscles gone, a few burns!”
“Doesn’t it sound horrible? Don’t you think you should be compensated for all you have lost?”
“No,” says the man and his smile is gentle, “No injury, or accident, no burns or acid, will ever be able to destroy my character. I will be the same, and people will see me the same way. There’s no need for insurance, because once you build character, nothing can take that away from you..!”
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and author. He blogs at www.bobsbanter.com and can be reached at bobsbanter@gmail.com
