Nyan Lotha Naga
Kohima
This afternoon, I had a friend take me to the public cemetery to pay my last respect to our friend and brother who was laid to rest exactly two afternoons ago. As we walked towards his permanent spot, I couldn’t help but notice the astounding number of epitaphs that showed the year 2019 and 2020 marked on it. It’s appalling that, so many of our near and dear ones have left us in such a short span of time; way beyond my human ability to imagine just how many families have lost their loved ones, how many hearts broken, how many eyes dry of tears and how much more, still struggling to recover from the shock and loss.
Universal equality of all humans is most significant only on two specific occasions in life – at birth and in death, and this we realize very well when we visit a burial ground, where the most popular person in his lifetime is buried next to someone whose name doesn’t ring a bell, or the wealthiest or the most beautiful of bygone eras laid to rest next to someone their complete opposites in life.
I glanced my gaze from one corner to another, and could see an engraved picture of someone as old as 90 or beyond, surely happy and satisfied with the long and meaningful life that she must have lived, while on another a teenage girl of 19 whose glass enclosed box contained her presumably favorite pen and pencils, definitely someone who enjoyed her role in life as a student before the heavens took her away from earth. Then, a little blocks away, I saw the pictures of two young boys all clad in smiles next to each other and the same date of demise brought to mind the incident a year ago, where one jumped into the lake to save his drowning friend and both perished tragically; yes physically they perished but the spirit of true friendship that, they displayed in the last fleeing moments of their life, stands as a living testament to the eternal bond of friendship that we can forge in this life and the next- forever is indeed a reality.
The saddest was of a cute little baby who lived for just 3 days. I couldn’t begin to imagine the depth of pain and sorrow the parents must have gone through or if they are still struggling to come out of it and to which I offer my most sincere prayers that they gain the divine strength to go on in life.
With all these thoughts heavy on my shoulder, I gently placed the bouquet of flowers on my friend’s grave, the concrete still fresh of human touch even as I lamented his death- for he was just 33 years old, about to start his adult life after landing a job a little more than a year ago. The weight of these mixed feelings was too much to bear even for a hardy man as myself- for I let the tears that welled up in my eyes to flow down freely without protest. Imagine how many of these recent ones must have been looking forward to the morrow which never happened for them. How many unknown souls must be wishing to go back, if just to live for one more day or an hour to set things right.
Thus, it made me wonder how much time I am left with before my breath finally becomes air. I know we can’t live forever, yet how often do we have the false confidence that we still have more time to live and to do all the things we want, before we say ‘yes I have had my fair share of life, come you can have me now’. The plain truth which we deliberately ignore is that, our final moment could be anytime starting from this very moment; It is only when we absorb the genuineness of this introspection, then shall we realize how unmindful we are of our parent(s), friends or sibling(s) as though we have sufficient time to show that we care and love them and to make amends if any. It is either them first or us but either way, we are on the losing side.
The only other question we should ask ourselves is what are we so mindful and proud of? We are here today but could be gone tomorrow, we could be breathing now but become a deceased the next moment. What becomes of the value of our body when it ceases to function? Let’s humble ourselves and try not to pull or drag each other down for a short glory on earth but instead give each other a helping hand that we may live in peace and go in peace when summoned.
Lastly, how often do we misinterpret forgiving as a weakness, showing emotions openly as not strong enough or not admitting one’s shortcomings and mistakes as standing one’s ground regardless; Can we just shed off all these conspicuous mental baggage from our shoulders and live a light spirited life with full of zest and glory given its temporary nature. Let us try to evolve into a breed of humans who are easy to forgive, swift in admitting one’s fault and show emotions courageously when required- for it is more healing than to keep it suppressed. After all, we are all just another human and not robots.
However, if I don’t sound very convincing, try going for a brisk walk in the cemetery with an open mind someday - it's spiritually self therapeutic and they say, the dead have more to teach the living about life.
