N. Longshio Yanthan
Shalom Rehab. Centre, Chumukedima
You can’t touch it, you can’t see it and you can’t hear it, but it affects how you feel, it’s there when you look at yourself in the mirror and its there every time you talk about yourself. It’s your self esteem! It’s how much you value yourself and how important you think you are, it is what makes you what you are and in its best.
Es-teem, it is a fancy word for thinking that someone or something is important or valuing that person or thing. And self means yourself. So by putting together and it’s easier to see what self-esteem is. Self-esteem doesn’t come from a germ, but from our beliefs about ourselves that we developed as we grew up and from the other sources of life. Presumably this process is very complex with its roots in the ways that our families treated us early, the culture of the society in which we live, our responses to our wider families, friends, (enemy), our natural aptitudes that we were born with (or without) and our unique personality etc.
Self-esteem is the wealth of every human being on this earth. When we listen to some people talking, they clearly demonstrate feelings of inadequacy, believing that they are not OK. They don’t feel at peace within themselves. They feel they will never be acceptable. They feel ‘useless’, ‘worthless’ and ‘no good’. Most of the substance abusers have a low self-esteem and that remains as a block to recovery. A person who has a low self-esteem feels that there is nothing to satisfy the expectations and often they see only negative things and misinterpret other’s thoughts and actions and make themselves and other miserable. But this can be strengthened at any point in life when an individual works on it. A person with a strong self-esteem is all set to enjoy an interesting present life whereas the one with a weak self-esteem is heading towards unhappiness and failure.
There is high self-esteem and low self-esteem.
THREE Faces of Low Self-Esteem
Most of us have an image of what low self-esteem looks like, but it is not always so easy to recognize. Here are three common faces that low self-esteem may wear:
The Impostor: acts happy and successful, but is really terrified of failure. Lives with the constant fear that she or he will be “found out.” Needs continuous successes to maintain the mask of positive self-esteem, which may lead to problems with perfectionism, procrastination, competition, and burn-out.
The Rebel: acts like the opinions or good will of other especially people who are important or powerful don’t matter. Lives with constant anger about not feeling “good enough.” Continuously needs to prove that others’ judgments and criticisms don’t hurt, which may lead to problems like blaming others excessively, breaking rules or laws, or fighting authority.
The Loser: acts helpless and unable to cope with the world and waits for someone to come to the rescue. Uses self-pity or indifference as a shield against fear of taking responsibility for changing his or her life. Looks constantly to others for guidance, which can lead to such problems as lacking assertiveness skills, under-achievement, and excessive reliance on others in relationships.
Consequences of Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem can have devastating consequences.
• It can create anxiety, stress, loneliness and increased likelihood for depression.
• It can cause problems with friendships and relationships.
• It can seriously impair academic and job performance
• It can lead to underachievement and increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse.
Worst of all, these negative consequences themselves reinforce the negative self-image and can take a person into a downward spiral of lower and lower self-esteem and increasingly non-productive or even actively self-destructive behavior.
Our self image is the blueprint which determines how we will behave, who we will mix, what we will try and what we will avoid. When we are feeling good about ourselves, other people become very nice. The world is a reflection of ourselves. When we love being who we are, the rest of the world is wonderful.
Ten ways to improve self esteem
• Look at a mirror and say I am comfortable with myself
• Acknowledge your value and say you are useful to yourself and others
• Recognize the good in you and in others
• Accept compliments with grace and gratitude
• Eat slowly, walk slowly and bathe slowly
• Spent at least 15 minutes for meditation in the morning and in the evening
• Avoid the company of people who give negative strokes
• Make the right assessment of your abilities and inabilities
• Maintain a personal diary and jot down daily a good thing that made you happy
• Be honest and truthful in your dealings.
“As Jesus has risen from the dead let us also rise and build our self Esteem”
“HAPPY EASTER”
