Think and Act Before it is to late!
“Almost all of my friends do it, so I also go for it sometimes. There are many girls/women who never say “ No”. With them , anytime , any place, anything is fine. Just give them some drinks, some gifts, do them some favours,make some small promises to them, give them some money, nothing is impossible, anything is possible, says “occasional loose boys and men” who thinks they are having gala time at the expense of these “occasional loose women/girls”! Getting easy lays, no hang ups, no regrets, no consequences,…no consequences????…. hang on there guys, you are not going to get away so easily without a price! Many are already paying the price and many will continue to pay for the price of those “easy lays” lil misdeeds which you think your parents are not aware, or your spouse is not aware, remember, its not as easy and simple as you and I would like to think! And my dear sisters, it’s not much different for you either, HIV will not let you go scot free! “Till death do part us” is the promise! A lil tipsyheaded, a lil madness,a moment of unfaithfulness, a lil carelessness,lil bit of fun, throw cautions to the wild wind and you get HIV for life! My dear friends,Is it worth it ? A moment of madness, a life time of regrets!
These men and women who got it, boys and girls who are infected or are at risk of being infected are not injecting drug users ( IDUs) they are not Commercial Sex Workers per se ( CSWs), the CSWs and the IDUs are considered a High Risk Group.Are these men and women and boys and girls not at risk? Are they not vulnerable? Is it not important for everyone to learn about HIV/AIDS and be responsible of their behavior and work towards behavioral change of others? Yes almost everyone will say, “ Oh I know all about it, I am sick and tired of hearing about it”. But just hearing and knowing is not enough, changing behaviors and lifestyles and becoming change agents is what matters ! Our girls and women may not be professional commercial sex workers standing in queues for customers/clients like those women and girls in the streets of Sonagachi ( Red Light area of Kolkata) and Kamathipura (Red light area in Mumbai, or any other Red light Area for that matter), they are just any normal teenage girl/women ( school and college drop out girls, students from schools and colleges, women and girls into petty business, booze joints and restaurant girls, educated unemployed women, the list goes on and on) there to hoping to have some fun, to make some quick money, or most times some girls don’t even know why they are doing it , maybe their boyfriends ask for it, or could be for any and every other reason under the sun! ! My concern is not “WHO”they are “ but what they are “DOING”! (Categorizing a handful of people into high risk groups leaves out the bigger chunk of population (who are also equally at risk) with a misconception that they are not at risk!) Just because they are not like the other professional sex workers in some dark corners of the cities of India or elsewhere, doesn’t mean, they are immune to HIV! This doesn’t mean that they are not at risk! At least in this places (The Red Light Areas) safer practices are advocated and health services are easily made accessible to these women ( CSWs)at risk. But our women and girls, most of them are ignorant of the risk, information is scarce, and also even if they are aware, cautions are thrown out of the window under intoxication and also promise of a better price if done without an artificial barrier! Men usually will say “Why go for protection? We are not at risk. You are not a prostitute, nor are I an injecting drug user or a man who visits prostitutes. It is ok with us!” To how many women and girls that man must have repeated the same lines? Listen my dear man, who said it is ok? It is NOT OK!! You are putting yourself at risk, you are putting your loved ones at home at risk, and you are putting your future at stake! With HIV in the community, unfaithful and irresponsible behavior comes with a heavy price!
Our people have this very risky perception that AIDS is a disease only of IDUs, Prostitutes, MSM ( men having sex with men) the so called High Risk Group (HRG) of people but the virus doesn’t believe or function that way. It knows no identity as IDUS, MSMs,CSWs,ordinaryhusband,wife,teenager,married,single,double,triple(whateverwecallthem),officer,labour,dancer,teacher , student,etc etc. Whoever is careless, ignorant, indiscilplined, irresponsible etc etc comes in close contact with the Virus once and for all! How many times have we heard this from so many who later regret for what they said and did! ,” Its ok . I don’t just sleep around with any man/woman available. I am choosy and careful.” How “ choosy” can one get and how “ careful” can one remain? Living dangerously always lands one into danger finally. With how many women and girls is that man “choosy and careful”? and with how “many men” these “women and girls”are choosy and careful? And the so called merry go round continues till all are caught dead in the circus of AIDS! Tell me who in his/her right mind say, “ I am careless, I am a cheat, I am a liar, I am thief’? Don’t we all want to say always, “ I am ok, better than the person next door”. Are we not all drowning in too much of “ good people” syndrome ? How many of us have heard this thousands of times “ Yes I had fun few times , but I never though my “ Fun” will not be “funny” anymore one day! The people that I hang around with are all decent men and women like me”. Who can say who is decent and who is indecent in this day and age? Why take chances wit the Virus? Why fool yourself and play around with the Virus? Nothing is foolproof, no one is perfect! We only have to keep striving towards perfection keeping in mind our/their imperfections!
“I don’t know how this has happened. I had been faithful to my husband. I know my husband. He is not the type to fool around with other women. He has a drinking problem though. Maybe he must have done something which he never would have done in his sober mind. I don’t know whom he drinks with and what he does when he’s out traveling and drinking. I try to forgive him but find it so difficult to accept that he cheated on me and also brought this suffering on the whole family”. Drinking blurs everything, everyone, anytime, anywhere. Drunkenness is the hotbed of deceit and disease. It is the Pathways to mistrust and misery. Says a man “I really don’t know how I got this disease but I think it must be from my wife. She travels a lot as she is into small business to support our family as I am just a poor farmer from the village, I have no government job. She collects vegetables from the village and takes them to the town to sell them. She comes back with some other items from the town and sells them in the village. I don’t know where she does her business, whom she meets but I have a strong suspicion it must be from my wife”. Asked about her background, he says that she is just an ordinary illiterate housewife, not educated, struggling to support the poor family. Maybe she met some “ bad man” he says. Let us think of this situation for a while, One day, the parents may die of AIDS, will the orphan children blame their parents for making them orphans? Will they blame the NGOs (or whoever is supposed to be working to address the problems of HIV/AIDS) for not doing enough? Will they blame the government for not doing enough? Or will they, growing up as orphans without proper parental love and guidance tread a dangerous path once again and repeat history all over again? Who will be responsible again then? Who do we blame? What do we say to this? What do we need to do looking into the vulnerability context of our people to HIV/AIDS?
Every nook and corners of Nagaland, every home and community, every single individual not equipped with information and knowledge, not serious about the business of HIV/AIDS, is at risk, and is vulnerable. Information has to reach every home, every nook and corner of the state, every single individual. Everyone has to own the responsibility. The virus knows no boundaries, no colors, no status, no position, no age, no qualification etc etc. For those of us, every single individual who knows something, who can do something, who can help someone, who can bring changes for good, its time we start on a war footing (if we have not done that as yet), every effort will count, every piece of information, every word and act of concern will count, every minute will count in this business of saving lives and changing lives!
(K.Ela Prodigals’ Home)
