Every morning, as the sun peeps over our confused democracy, a silent war begins. Not at our borders, not in Parliament, but in the palm of your hand — yes, that unassuming rectangle known as your smartphone. While I sip my coffee and reach for my newspapers, elsewhere, warriors have already launched their first attack of the day.
Welcome, dear reader, to the battlefield of the WhatsApp War.
Here, generals don’t wear stars on their shoulders but have profile pictures of lions, hands, lotuses, or some spiritual guru with a suspiciously smug expression. They don’t march in formation, but they do march forward — or rather, they forward, with relentless zeal. Their fingers, calloused not from farming or factory work but from years of swiping, type faster than a mosquito fleeing a swatter.
Armed with borrowed outrage and recycled nationalism, these digital crusaders load their virtual guns with bullets labelled “Breaking News,” “Must Read,” or the classic “Forwarded as received” — that phrase which absolves them of all fact-checking, responsibility, and basic decency. With the grace of a bar brawler and the sensitivity of a sledgehammer, they shoot out messages that would give even a seasoned diplomat a migraine.
Their armour? A stubborn refusal to read beyond headlines.
Their strategy? Caps and Exclamation Marks.
Their motto? “If it fits my belief, it must be true!”
And like obedient foot soldiers, the forwarders — ah yes, the unsung infantry of this war — pass along these messages to alumni school groups, housing society chats, and unfortunately, to your unsuspecting mother who then solemnly forwards it to you with a “Beta, be careful!”
They source their ammunition from motormouth TV anchors whose decibel levels can raise the dead, and from politicians who have turned hate speech into a fine art.
These armchair warriors believe they’re saving the nation, one inflammatory message at a time, while real soldiers guard borders in minus 30 degrees, probably wishing these heroes would come and show such bravery on ground.
I imagine these WhatsApp warriors in an actual warzone — trudging through mud, dodging bullets, and looking for the “Forward” button on a grenade. Most would faint at the sight of a real gun, or worse, complain there's no WiFi in the trench.
So, how do we deal with these keyboard commandos? Engage in debate? Try to reason? Ah, my friend, that is like trying to convince a parrot that it’s not a pigeon. The best strategy is silence. Ignore them. For trolls, silence is salt to the wound.
Remember paper bullets don’t hurt, and neither do WhatsApp ones — unless you let them.
And so, as the nation continues to WhatsApp its way to imaginary glory, I say to you: Stay sane, sip your coffee, and for heaven’s sake — verify before you forward. Or better yet, hit delete.
And now these forwards come with their own emojis...!
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