The most dreaded sound we Indians heard during our freedom struggle during British rule, was of police knocking at our door at midnight, “Who’s it?” we asked, voices fearful. “Police! Open up!” came a British or Anglo-Indian accent.
We threw the English out, but suddenly our police are doing the same!
“What do you think, that only the white man could induce fear?” laughed a politician, “Even we can! Just watch!”
“Knock! Knock! Knock!”
“Ha, ha, ha!” laughed the same politician to me, “Did you see their fearful faces! Come with us, when we go to the next house and our policeman knocks!”
“Why?” I asked, “it will be the same knock, and same reaction!”
“Ah but we are going to videotape the whole thing!”
“Why?”
“To send it to the British king! To show Charles what he and his subjects did before our freedom, we now have finally perfected!”
I heard a clamour from across our country’s borders all around, “We have perfected it even better!” shouted a policeman from Pakistan. “Your policemen come with arrest warrants, ours with loaded rifles!”
“We’ve done an even better job,” sniggered a Myanmar cop, “we shoot them even as they whisper fearfully behind their door!”
“We hack them as they step out!” grinned a Bangladeshi policeman, “Especially writers and blasphemers!”
“What door?” laughed China, “The door’s already been blown away, when our police arrive there’s only bodies!”
The politician turned to me, “You see why we need to videotape our great leap forward?” he asked, “See how far behind we’ve been lagging! Our neighbours have far outpaced us, in the ‘fearful police knock’ field!”
“Do you think the King of England is going to be happy?” I asked, “Why should he?”
The politician looked at me, then patiently sat on a chair, “Listen Bob, have you ever been a teacher?”
“Well, a bit!” I admitted.
“What happens when you find a student who’s coming last in class, suddenly catching up with the others?”
“I get your point!” I nodded understandingly.
“Good!” said the politician, thumping me on my back, “The British must have been waiting for us to catch up with the rest of the class. After seeing this video, they will be overjoyed!”
I watched, the video man set up his equipment, “Take One!” he shouted, his voice quivering with excitement. The police knocked, a man opened the door and was whisked away.
A day later, the Supreme Court sent him back, but that part was not seen by the British as they smiled at their brilliant students. “Those Indians are good,” said King Charles to Camila as he watched the video, “But what took them seventy- five years to master it?”
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and author. He blogs at www.bobsbanter.com and can be reached at bobsbanter@gmail.com
