Joan M. Dawson
Defining Women:
This time last year, police charged a peaceful assembly of women’s rights activists in Iran and beat hundreds of women and men. They did so again this year. Police have also marred International Women’s Day in Nepal and Turkey. It reminds us that women still have a long way to go to achieve value, dignity and equality in this world. For women, and the men that love and respect them, we must evaluate our progress and plan our future.
What is our status in the world? This does not just refer to our own lives, but the lives of women in general. For as fortunate as we may be, how is our sister in Africa faring? How are poor or black women in America doing? How are indigenous women surviving?
We must understand ourselves and what we stand for. We must make the decisions of what we will accept and what we won’t. It is not only for ourselves, it is for the legacy we leave our children and grandchildren. For, we’ve inherited patriarchal systems that have imposed rules and limitations in our lives, for men and women alike. Do we want the same for future generations?
Defining Worth:
The status of women worldwide hangs perilously. What is a woman’s worth?
We are undervalued at home. The U.N. (1995) estimates we contribute $ 11 trillion to the global economy. Our unpaid work is often taken for granted, even by ourselves.
We no longer see value even in our ability to give birth -- we are referred to as a “birthing machine” or “breeder.” We are still fighting for reproductive freedom. We need access to family planning, negotiation skills for condoms, HIV/AIDS prevention and maternal and infant health care.
When people say “sex sells” -- primarily the hyper-sexuality of women’s bodies -- the term doesn’t even acknowledge women’s role in building businesses, and thus, the economy. For, in reality, shouldn’t it be “women sell”?
The media stereotypes women as sexual objects or gold diggers (despite the fact that we’re working and earning our own money at record numbers). The newspapers barely acknowledge us. Our issues, when acknowledged, are often trivialized or ridiculed. We are underrepresented in the media, politics and most decision-making roles, including the decision to wage war and to plan peace.
Science is still demeaning us. The University of Michigan wants us to believe that men seek women who look vulnerable and make less money than them. The Telegraph reports “From trophy wife to toxic wife,” warning guys that women who don’t earn money are a “lazy, indulgent, over-pampered slug.” Some articles create myths about women opting out of the workforce and some suggest “Don’t marry a career woman.”
Career women, apparently, have messier homes, ill husbands, affairs, divorces and fewer kids. We’ve certainly been the scapegoats in societies.
Certainly, another major problem we face is violence. Violence affects millions of women. It is the number one killer of women ages 14 to 44 in the world today. At least one in three women will experience some form of abuse, often by someone she knows or is related to. This violence controls us and undermines our self-worth.
The extent of the violence has been compared to the holocaust and wars, with reason. An estimated two to three million women die each year due to gender-based violence, according to The Economist. How long will we permit this?
One hundred and two countries, according to the U.N., don’t even have laws on domestic violence. The fact that violence has just recently been acknowledged as a human rights and public health problem for women speaks volumes to what society has deemed as women’s value and fate in life. The fact that impunity exists for perpetrators of violence against women today roars her worth. Are we listening?
In the world today, modern slavery sells women and girls into lives of prostitution.
In the U.S., you can buy a woman for the same price as a mid-sized car. Is that a reflection of our value? The commercialization of women’s bodies through trafficking, prostitution, and pornography is taking place at alarming rates. When will it halt?
Rape, for the first time, is classified as a war crime. Despite this, mass rape is still common. In Congo, women suffer from fistulas, tears between the vagina and anus. These tears are the results of soldiers using guns, knives, and wood to rape women and girls. Girls as young as three-years-old have been gang raped. If we cannot value our selves, can’t we value our children? Do they have to suffer the same forms of discrimination and abuse as we do?
On top of all these dilemmas, there is a backlash against feminism that is taking place and limiting women’s progress. Men’s rights and father’s rights groups have waged a campaign claiming women to be as violent to men as men are to women. They include the stereotypical “nagging” of women as emotional abuse thereby trivializing the term “violence.”
In an article by Fred Halliday, “The forward march of women halted?,” he writes:
“a commitment to women’s equality and fulfillment has eroded, in which strong opposition to this commitment has emerged, and in which the movement has lost the unity of purpose and vision, and the clarity of goal, that sustained it in earlier times.”
How will we get it back?
Defining Success:
Despite the lack of unity, women have made advances. For one, we’ve become more prominent in politics. Michelle Bachelet in Chile, Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf in Liberia, Angela Merkel in Germany, and Condoleezza Rice, Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton in the U.S., to name but a few, have become high profile politicians. We need to continue raising women for roles in politics. Currently, the international average for female participation in politics is about 17 percent.
In many countries, gender discrimination is outlawed and the wage gap is narrowing. Women in some countries actually outnumber males at universities. There are a growing number of degrees now being offered in women’s studies and at some colleges, men are teaching these courses.
In Canada, 60 monuments have been dedicated to women, 35 of which are a tribute to women who were killed by men. (6) Canada is the first country in the world to build memorials to women who were murdered. They choose to remember the women they lost, instead of those that killed them. And they refuse to deny the violence exists.
The 1990s saw laws passed against violence for the first time in history. Ninety-three U.N. member nations now have laws against human trafficking. CEDAW has been signed by 185 nations. Domestic violence and rape laws are being implemented in more countries.
Finally, men are joining women in fighting violence and redefining gender roles. There are movements, campaigns, organizations and books dedicated to violence prevention, concepts of gender and parenting skills to teach non-violent means of conflict resolution. We cannot progress without the help of men. Fortunately, they are becoming involved, tired of the limitations and stereotypes that have been placed on them as well.
Defining Value:
An abolitionist once said, “Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have the exact measure of the injustice and wrong which will be imposed on them.” We cannot afford to be silent. We cannot afford to be passive. We cannot afford morally to be witnesses of beatings, burnings and brutality.
We must start by respecting and valuing ourselves. We must realize our own worth. As human beings, we have a right to basic human rights -- dignity, security, education and health. As citizens, we have a right to voting, participating in politics and organizing ourselves.
Any community programs that promote equality economically, politically or socially will help achieve self-worth. Small loan programs, even public speaking training, increase women’s self-esteem, hence value. We must remove the shame and stigma associated with abuse. Women must report it. Authorities must enforce laws and provide statistics, resources and effective strategies for combating it. Tolerance, impunity and corruption pave the way for continuation of abuses. They must be dealt with by officials.
The concept of masculinity as that of power or control must be redefined. “In many societies images of violence against women in media are associated with sexual power and virility. Alternative models of masculinity that encourage respect and skillful anger management are necessary.” And the concept of femininity must incorporate strength.
Hanis Tun Hussein, speaking at the 2006 Family Law Reform conference in Malaysia, said: “A Muslim woman is like a veil and a sword. She is soft, gentle and modest, yet strong, resilient and courageous.” This is what we must aim for. We must value our femininity -- men and women alike -- but we must also gain strength and courage. Courage to achieve equality. Courage to speak out. Courage to change.
Change begins with awareness. Next comes action. It is our choice whether we accept our status, as is, or whether we lend a hand in creating and shaping it. After all, it will be the legacy we pass on to our children and grandchildren. What are their lives worth?
