There was a time when the very thought of my children settling abroad filled me with dread.
"What if somebody troubles them?" I would wonder.
"What if they fall sick? What if something goes wrong? What if they need me?"
As fathers, we have an exaggerated opinion of ourselves. We secretly believe that if there is a bully to be confronted, a plumber to be found, a lawyer to be consulted, or a difficult neighbour to be spoken to, we are the appointed superheroes for the job.
Then both my daughters packed their bags, boarded airplanes, and flew thousands of miles away.
My superhero cape suddenly became useless.
I could not rush across oceans because somebody's car refused to start. I could not be there if a child developed a fever in the middle of the night. I could not stand outside a school if one of my grandchildren had a difficult day. Distance had quietly removed me from the list of available rescuers.
At first, that frightened me.
Then something beautiful happened.
I discovered surrender.
Every morning, instead of trying to solve problems I could not even see, I began placing each one of them before God. Their work. Their marriages. Their children. Their journeys. Their friendships. Their health. Their decisions. Every phone call they made. Every road they travelled. Every flight they boarded.
Some people begin the day with coffee.
I begin mine by waving a white flag.
Not a flag of defeat.
A flag of surrender.
The world tells us surrender is weakness. God tells us surrender is wisdom. We spend our lives trying to control tomorrow, while God gently reminds us that tomorrow already belongs to Him.
One of my favourite verses has become Proverbs 3:5 and 6.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight."
Notice that God does not first ask us to understand.
He first asks us to trust.
That changes everything.
I pray about the little things. A delayed flight. A difficult meeting. A medical report. A grandchild's examination. A long drive through unfamiliar roads. Things that may appear insignificant to others are never insignificant to a loving Father in heaven.
I have learnt that surrender is not what you do after every earthly solution has failed.
Surrender is where you begin.
The remarkable thing is that when we finally stop insisting on carrying every burden ourselves, God quietly takes hold of them. Sometimes He changes the situation. Sometimes He changes us. Most often He does both.
So every morning I raise my invisible white flag.
Not because I have given up.
But because I have handed over.
And I have discovered that there is no safer place for those we love than in the hands of God…!
The Author conducts an online, eight session Writers and Speakers Course. If you’d like to join, do send a thumbs-up to WhatsApp number 9892572883 or send a message to bobsbanter@gmail.com
