Noel Manuel
A smile can enliven anyone’s day. It can transform a colourless situation or stressful condition to that of a colourful canvas of living, which actually envisages the true essence of life. The gift of joy is like the strokes from a paintbrush that adds a new tinge of colour and life with every slosh.
Without the gift of joy, life becomes a terrible burden, filled with stress and a colourless environment. With it, we enjoy the process of living and this gift envelops into our children’s sense of objectivity.
The gift of joy is among the key characteristics of our attitude. When we allow our attitude to blossom in the shades of joy, our approach towards our children become more realistic, meaningful and purposeful.
Our children are a reflection of joy and innocence. They are oblivious to the activity and situations around them. They comprehend every situation with innocence and a plethora of joy. It is only after a good number of years, when the seed of maturity begins to blossom that they become judgmental of joy. And thereafter, happiness, unfortunately, transforms itself into an option.
‘The joys of childhood or schooldays are some of the most memorable moments in my life.’ This is what we often hear from those who make candid confessions about their childhood. It is true. But just how often, do we hear people make confessions such as ‘the joys of parenthood or working days are some of the most memorable moments in my life?’ Not very often I guess.
So then, what really makes childhood and schooldays so memorable that makes you want to cherish those moments forever. The answer is joy. Every situation, moment, interaction, encounter in our childhood is balanced with joy, innocence, laughter and happiness. It is this balance that becomes our attitude. And our childhood attitude becomes our objectivity of life.
Another reason that makes for childhood and schooldays being more memorable is the fact that relates to the importance of hugging, touching or nurturing one another by just being together.
My youngest son Jonathan looks for the slightest opportunity to sit on my lap or to hold my hand on an outing. It is not out of fatherly affection that he would want me to do that. He gets a sense of joy whenever he does it. It makes him feel good and happy and I know that he will not hesitate to be carried if the situation so demands. An act that is registering a memorable childhood.
Joy is a parenting tool in itself. It supplements the development of the other parenting tools that we have been discussing about in this column. Messages, among other parenting tools, closely relate to joy. I have often come across how some people love communicating with children with teasing messages and a sense of joy. It pains me further to realize just how uncomfortable these people really are to deal with the real feelings of children. Putting joy, happiness and eventually that smile on the child’s face doesn’t have to necessarily come with teasing messages. Teasing or any form of joy that has a hurtful message can wipe out our children’s brittle self-esteem.
We know how truly important it is to live a life of joy. But yet find it complicated to sustain this gift in the most difficult times of our life. Joy is a product of togetherness and not money. It is a value that stems from positive humour. It is the harbinger of peace, love and unity. Joy is the gift that comes from responsible parenting and teaching.
Our children can outline the environment of a happy or unhappy situation. However, what they can’t do is choose to be either happy or sad, until we set up the programme for them to do so. As programmers, we have an option to create a situation for our kids, which is based on positive messages that produces high voltage laughter or just allow them to use more muscles on their face to frown.
Joy is indicative of our mood. Whenever our kids do something in a joyous mood, we know that we can expect incredible results. When our children are not in a joyous mood or they frown to do something, we can expect the most disastrous outcome.
We know how much our kids love playing. It is not only their aggressive physical movement that portrays this interest but also their joyous facial expressions that validate this fact. When it comes to studies, our children’s attitude to balance this interest seems just the opposite. Ironically, the results are subjective
Sometimes a joyful moment is just the right finishing touch for what might have been an otherwise stressful day. My kids are really exhausted by the end of day and their actions clearly define this tiredness. But despite, the 12-hour daily hectic activity, that involves playing and studying, they always find time to sit together and joke among themselves. My youngest son laughs so uncontrollably at the gimmicks of his siblings that at times, I feel, as though his jaw might snap. Tiredness disappears and they appear rejuvenated.
When we gift our children the gift of joy, we are empowering them with a purposeful life. They learn to comprehend the true significance of life and enjoy the process of living. They see every situation as an opportunity to share more joy with others. And most importantly they tend to live longer with less stress and health problems.
Stress is bad and it practically leads to complicated health problems. We don’t feel good when we are stressed out and everyone else around us is made to feel worse. Whatever we set out to do, normally takes longer than it should take to complete and we continually keep walking around in a haze without a specific purpose or apparent cause.
Joy is the anecdote to stress and the fragrance to a meaningful and purposeful life. Imagine a child who is oblivious of joy or can’t make others laugh! Better still; just envision a world where everything around us is black and white.
I remember walking down a popular hang-out in south Delhi and there was this middle-aged European man standing at the bus-stop with a guide book in hand. He was the center of all attraction. And his height and features was not the cause of this. Instead his multi coloured T-shirt had made him an attraction. The fluorescent colours, for that matter, could grab anyone’s attention. I too, must admit, was forced to take a second glance at this man. If colours can attract our attention, I thought to myself, the attractions of joy can be nothing less.
It is said, that of you have not felt the JOY of doing something, you have neglected much, and most of all yourself. A new life begins for us with every second. Let us go forward joyously to meet it.
noelmanuel@rediffmail.com
The writer is the Coordinator of the Northeast Region (Poetry Society of India) and Life Member of the Poetry Society of India. Journalist and Correspondent Eastern Panorama (News Magazine of the Northeast) Phonetics Teacher.
