Khrietuonyü Noudi
In the previous edition of this article, I wrote why I feel that the present Naga society is laying too much emphasis on educational institutions and running helter-skelter in search of a so-called good school thinking that the educational hub will play the most pivotal role in the upbringing of their lads. And I concluded the previous article by arguing that the family should be prioritised over any educational institutions. And in this second edition, I wish to deliberate further on the critical role that the institution of the family plays in the moulding and nurturing of a child’s overall personality and innate potentials.
Firstly, the family preceded the school in human history and even in contemporary times the family still precedes any educational institution. So naturally it is understandable that there has to be conducive harmonious learning environment at home first before we think about any other outside learning hub. This is so because if the place from where the child gets up and sets out every day to explore the world is not in order, then they have already been handicapped even before they set their first foot outside.
Secondly, the family not only precedes schools but also overlaps it. After school the children retreats back to their homes. So it is extremely important that parents create a loving consistent atmosphere at home where all kids long to return to after the day’s work. In other words home needs to be a haven for our children where they can find comfort, love, understanding and acceptance rather than judgement and comparison. When children know that there is a place where they can find refuge and safety from the turbulence outside, then their innate learning abilities will be at a much higher level. Children spend only around 5-6 hours at school while they spend around 15 – 16 hours everyday at home. So naturally, the amount of time that parents have to influence their child’s life is way much more than the time that any school or teacher may have.
Thirdly, the bond that a person has with his family lasts for his lifetime. In other words, familial bonds are established before school and it will be there long after the schooling or university years are over. Yes, the family not only precedes the school but also outlives the school. So naturally every right thinking person will not disagree that it is the family which should be our primary focus and not any other institution.
Over the years, I have also seen families where everything is conducted in a very formal way. Yes, I have come across parents who try to manage their families like a hostel. They set a routine for the whole family where children have study time, playing time, reading time, watching time, etc. But I feel that everything at home need not be so formal. Our children should not feel any kind of pressure or tension especially at home. Some boundaries need to be set. But as far as possible, children should be left free to explore their environment in their own way and time. And if we let them have this we will have best results which any formal or strict routine will never accomplish.
French philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau said “man is born free but he is in chains everywhere”. I think this is true. If we chain our children with so many formalities or rules and regulations they will never be free enough to explore the world in their own ways and terms.
Moreover, I also feel that what our children need the most is our “ATTENTION” rather than another activity. Nowadays, many parents have the tendency to fill their lad’s days will one activity after the other. As soon as children reach back from school, they are being prepared for another activity like a piano class, guitar class, music class, zumba class etc. But this is not fair and I feel pity for such children. And this kind of rearing cannot be termed as love or preparation as we are treating children like machines and robots.
Swiss child psychologist Jean Peaget calls children as little scientists and here I totally agree with him. The imaginative and creative power of our children is so amazing that very often parents do not even realise what they can really achieve if these imaginations and creativity are nurtured and harnessed in the right way.
The experiences, emotions, memories, dialogues and life lessons that are shared amongst parents and children or even amongst siblings within the family stay with us our entire life. How wonderful, beautiful and powerful is the family! And so since the family is so powerful, the influence that family exerts on a child’s life can go either way i.e. positive or negative. If the child can find love, acceptance, respect, understanding etc at home, the outcome will be always so good and beautiful. On the other hand if a child is made to experience negativity and unsavoury elements at home, such burdens will become like a yoke on the child’s neck restricting him everywhere he goes and in everything he wants to do.
Very often we get to hear about sportspersons and athletes from our neighbouring Manipur who return home after achieving tremendous success and glory in the international sports arena. And most of these athletes are usually from very poor background where they neither had the money nor the facility to achieve international sporting glory. Some of them even had to travel hundreds of kilometres everyday by public transport to reach their training venues. But one common thing that stood out about these champions was the strong domestic support they had at home. They achieved big because there was someone at home who was supporting them day in and day out and there was someone who believed in them despite the abject poverty and hopelessness visible all around them. Likewise, what our children need the most is someone who believes in their uniqueness and potentials rather than someone who is always weighing and measuring them in comparison to the people and society around them.
If we look at some names from the pages of history we would find that achievers like Albert Einstein, Thomas Alva Edison, Walt Disney etc were all written off and declared as unfit for school. And at one point of time in their lives society also viewed them as little waywards. Yet today their struggles, their achievements and their stories inspire us all. And so whatever label or grade the school may stamp on a child should not be considered as final. Who knows many parents may be having a little Einstein, or a little Edison or the next gold medallist or a future leader in their homes and may not even be aware of it?
There is still a tendency in our era to view the grade or percentage secured by a student in school as the final criterion to determine the worth of the child. And many parents and teachers still exhibit tendency to encourage the students to go for rote memorization, imitation, exam-oriented learning etc. But now it is exhilarating to observe a shift already taking place in the society and many steps taken by our own government to bring about a change.
Educational policies like National Curriculum Framework (2005), RTE 2009, and the many NPEs implemented by the government now all assert that the traditional techniques of teaching-learning like rote memorization, using corporal punishment, exam oriented learning, focus on only percentage etc are not recommendable. Instead all these new educational policies now declare that education should be child centric and revolve around the needs, potentials and uniqueness of the child.
So now, when even our government is advocating for nurturing and cultivating the uniqueness and individual learning abilities of the child, the family should also not lag behind because, far more than the school, it is the family which should cater the most to the individual needs and uniqueness of the child. In other words, stereotyping a particular child to fit him into conformity with others is the worst type of education which anybody can impart.
Therefore, since most advanced educationists and thinkers have also now disapproved the old techniques of teaching imparted in schools worldwide and have now presented us with theories and even proofs that education has to be child centric, it places the family in a much more powerful and important position than previously thought before. Now the time has come for all to realise the true worth and power of the institution of the family once again because if when even the formal education is supposed to revolve around the uniqueness of the child, then it makes the family a thousand times more important because, in the first place, all these should begin at home.
