The Indian Budget is that annual national festival which arrives with great fanfare, deep mystery, and absolutely no guarantee of happiness.
For one week before Budget Day, every Indian suddenly becomes an economist. Your vegetable vendor discusses fiscal deficit. Your neighbour explains capital expenditure. Your uncle forwards WhatsApp messages predicting massive tax reliefs, abolition of income tax, free petrol, and possibly free emotional counselling for the middle class.
On Budget morning, television anchors look as if they personally wrote the Budget. They speak very fast, nod very seriously, and use words that frighten simple people like me. Words like consolidation, rationalisation, restructuring, and roadmap. When someone says roadmap, I always wonder where the road is and whether there are potholes!
The Finance Minister rises to speak. Cameras zoom in. The nation holds its breath. Middle class families clutch their tea cups like emotional support devices.
The speech begins.
Agriculture gets a boost. Infrastructure gets a boost. Defence gets a boost. Startups get incentives.
Industry gets relief. Corporate sector gets encouragement.
After forty minutes, the middle class begins shifting in their chairs, realising like they’ve realised in the last ten years that all the boosts are for those who will vote for the ruling party.
Somewhere around minute sixty, a small sentence appears. Income tax slabs have been tweaked.
Tweaked is a dangerous word. It sounds friendly but usually means someone has adjusted something in a way you will not enjoy.
We lean closer to the screen.
Yes, there is relief. But only if you are young, single, childless, homeless, investment savvy, and preferably imaginary.
For everyone else, there is the famous consolation prize. No change in tax structure.
No change sounds peaceful. It is actually violent.
Then come the analysts.
One says this is a growth oriented Budget.
Another says it is future focused.
A third says it is bold.
A fourth says it is balanced.
I am yet to meet the citizen who says it is beautiful.
The middle class now performs its annual ritual of mental mathematics: If I stop eating out, cancel one streaming subscription, reduce electricity usage, walk instead of using the car, and stop celebrating birthdays, I might survive.
Meanwhile prices quietly climb the stairs wearing socks so we do not hear them. Petrol smiles mysteriously. Cooking gas pretends nothing happened. School fees practise high jump. Medical bills do acrobatics.
We turn philosophical.
At least the country is developing.
At least GDP is rising, at least that’s what they are saying. .
Every year we are disappointed.
And every year we return.
Because deep down, we are eternal optimists.
The Indian Budget is not about money. It is about character building. It teaches patience. It teaches acceptance. It teaches us to laugh so we do not cry.
It is like going to the races year after year after year, and hoping we’ll win next year..!
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