‘The Reluctant Daughter’- N. Jamir
Anenla Jamir
Many people call sexual abuse a ‘modern day disease.’ We speak about it in hushed tones. We become uncomfortable and our body language change if someone talks about this subject. There is a tacit understanding that we will, as a society refrain from discussing this topic. Many people jump to conclusions and make assumptions when they hear of a sexual abuse case.
There is so much confusion regarding this topic. A lot of people say that we are learning about sexual abuse from other cultures. They deny it exists in our state. And if a survivor speaks up, they are told not to make a big deal about it. Between inter-family reasoning of what would happen to the survivor if people get to know and sage advice from near and dear ones to forgive those who wronged them, too many people suffer alone. They fight lonely battles in their head.
According to mental health doctors and counselors who treat sexual abuse survivors, it is one of the most debilitating experiences a person can go through.
A few months back, a book titled, ‘The Reluctant Daughter’ was released in Nagaland. It is one of the few books in the state which openly talks about sexual abuse and its effects. N. Jamir, the author of the book says that her aim is to spread awareness about the subject. In collaboration with EU coordinators in different districts of Nagaland, she is on a mission to visit different colleges and schools and spread the message.
She says that people need to be absolutely clear that sexual abuse happens across genders and social strata. Sexual abuse knows no gender, wealth, fame, family lineage or country.
N. Jamir who unfolds her extensive dreams, a task which I consider enormous towards building a daring and confident citizen, particularly the younger generation. She wants to let survivors know that they are not alone. I want to tell them that life is still worth living, that there is closure despite everything that happened to them.
She feels that parents, especially those with young kids need to have age appropriate talks with their children before things happen with their children. In her book she says there is a dedicated chapter on warning signs to look out for and also on talking with kids. This book talks about what abuse is.
The author feels that reaching out to people personally would impact lives more than reading what is written. With that in focus N. Jamir tour the districts holding seminars on sexual abuse and its effects with college and school students, in churches, at Penial home/s and in Inter-Collegiate EU services.
The author N. Jamir dedicates "The Reluctant Daughter" to everyone who is a sexual abuse survivor.
For them who have gone through and overcome, For them who are afraid to voice their fears, For them who are hopelessly lost, For them who want to speak out but can't, For them who wanted to speak out but could not
Anyone in need of an answer or clearing doubt can email the author at thereluctantdaughter@gmail.com or connect on the facebook page, ‘The Reluctant Daughter
