Dr Asangba Tzudir
To be aware and also pursue rights and then make claims accordingly is important especially in cases where one feels that justice is denied. On the flip, there is also an attitudinal trend when it comes to being right, that, it is not good to be wrong and therefore we want to be right… so right. Over the course of history, and the way in which issues have evolved attests to the fact that many issues have remained unresolved because we want to be right no matter what. And in the process, we have also forgotten the need to be empathetic.
Further, when we look at surrounding issues and often polarized debates, the pursuit of being ‘right’ often outweighs the desire to understand the issues and situation empathetically. Even at a micro level, from personal relationships to social media arguments and political discussions, many get easily drawn towards and even invest resources in winning a point than hearing out with compassion. While this also reflects a crisis of intelligence it also presents a much deeper crisis, the crisis of empathy.
The need for empathy is two-fold. While the ‘other’ needs empathy, it also helps relocate the position one has taken on right. At the heart of every argument lies a human being with experiences, beliefs, and emotions. So, when we approach others with a single-minded objective to prove them wrong, they only get reduced to opponents or enemies with no place for humanity. In doing so, we lose sight of the shared humanity that forms the foundation of any harmonious society.
Our right-induced words and statements become painfully stinging, our tones become more dismissive especially in social media platforms while condemning the ‘other’, while our willingness to listen to the other side of the story is virtually nonexistent. This trend is evident everywhere. Online platforms have become battlegrounds where biased opinions are hurled like weapons and humility is often mocked as weakness. People hardly debate to exchange ideas and create dialogue but to assert dominance. Success is also measured not in the mutual understanding, but one who garners more likes, shares, or verbal applause even as the chorus of the social media champions grow louder. Within such an environment, empathy is seen as a weakness, and a hindrance to winning an argument or asserting one’s rights. In the pursuit of rights, we end up killing truth narratives.
The problem begins early and finds rooted in our social systems starting from family where children are often taught the value of being correct and right, but rarely are they taught the value of understanding someone else’s perspective. Emotional intelligence and listening to the others point of view finds sidelined in favor of academic achievement and assertiveness. Star grading also adds to the fuel of being right. In such a climate of rightness, empathy becomes so crucial. While it does not mean agreeing with everyone, but more so an act of acknowledging their experience and validating their emotions. This will enable conversations to shift from combative to collaborative leading to understanding the wider perspectives, thereby making people more open, more inclusive, and decisions becomes more humane.
Considering the myriad of issues that divide public opinion be it race, religion, ethics, gender rights, or politics, many of these debates remain unresolved not due to lack of data or clarity, but because people refuse to listen to each other. The desire to be ‘morally’ or ‘intellectually right’ or just being ‘right’ blinds us to the fact that every issue impacts real people. When we dehumanize the opposition, we only end up constructing narrow domestic walls. Empathy does not require abandoning our principles or beliefs. Rather, it invites us to hold space for others without compromising our values. A little shift in our mindsets from not asking questions that only tries to prove them wrong towards questions that seek to understand the others situation can really create spaces for humanity to grow.
Considering the context of our richness in tradition and closely-knit communities, empathy is not a foreign concept but the post-modern moral crisis seems to have caught us. Modern pressures, political divisions, and especially generational shifts can create rifts, and the act of empathy at homes, institutions and public discourses is the only way to create a harmonious society. At the end, being ‘right’ may win arguments, but empathy touches hearts. And in a world of fragmented existence, it is the heart that needs reconciliation and healing. We need to listen before we speak, to understand instead of placing judgments, and to empathize more instead of simply asserting ‘rights’, for above rights lies humanity. As our world and the society grows into AI, to be a human being is much needed than to be ‘right’ in the conventional sense. Let humanity prevail.
(Dr Asangba Tzudir writes a weekly guest editorial for The Morung Express. Comments can be emailed to asangtz@gmail.com)
