Plabon Phukan
It has been more than a year that I have been engaged with the youth professionally as a student counsellor at an educational institution. The world of the youth has been and interesting area to work and study. Moreover the fact that I too belong to the category of being a youth makes my work all the more interesting and challenging. During this phase of working as a student counsellor, I have been able to interact with many young people with various issues ranging from academic difficulties, career queries, relationship issues, broken families, health issues and so on. But every time I listen to their stories, I avail an understanding that the issues revolve around the roles and identities of these individuals. It is the 'self' within a person that determines who a person wants to be. But surprisingly, the fact remains that what others expect of the 'self' within the other person. Hence, here starts the race of 'me' being 'you'.
The greatest difficulty that one faces when trying to pen down his or her feelings is initiating the first word of expression; expression of the 'self' within a person. The road becomes all the more tedious when that expression has to be made in a world where every person is trying to impress the other person, every person is trying to act for a different person, every person wants to be the other person. It is that phase in a person's life where the 'I' is trying to be the 'you'. When we roll down the ball of identity, especially in case of the youth, the only picture that can be drawn out is 'being same' or 'being different'.
Callum Donnelly, a writer who focuses on youth and youth issues, says in one of his works that, “Being same and being different are both really good, I enjoy being same and different and so should you.” However he concludes his piece by saying that, “If you’re different and unique or diverse…shout out loud, so everyone can hear...Being different is not a curse: I love being different!” So the question remains, why does one have to search himself in the other person? The need to understand that every person is unique and that every person's individuality is what makes him or her special is slowly fading in the marathon of life, where every person is trying to be what others expect of him or her.
In our society, there are many guidelines, which determine the place, position, dignity and identity of an individual. When it comes to speaking about youth, the guidelines become all the more rigid and compact. Based on gender, dressing, choice of life, habits, hobbies, and several other factors, one is measured under various scales of classification. In today’s society, a girl's character is judged by the length of her dress, a boy is judged by the masculinity or patriarchal views he exhibits, a person who is inked is considered a goon, a boy standing with a group of girls is considered a stud whereas a girl amidst a group of boys is considered a slut. The dress that one wears, could also determine the potential and suitability of that individual for a profession. A face depicts whether one is 'good' or 'bad', when in reality there is nothing called good or bad, but are just perceptions.
So, who creates these perceptions? Who formulates these guidelines? Who creates these demarcations? Who are the judges? It might take ages, but the answer to these questions may never be found.
The underlying reason for this reality is the fact that we all are in a race where we want to be someone else. The judgments that we make upon others are not self generated but perceptions and assumptions that we draw externally. The reason why many a times we don't try to be different even if we want to is because we fear being 'different', as we fear isolation. We are always in an effort of being accepted by the other party and customize ourselves, our thoughts, our beliefs, according to their likes and dislikes. And in this race we lose the 'me' in us, as all we focus is on being the 'you' in us. The beauty of living a positive life is based on the fact that let’s all accept each other the way we are and most importantly accept ourselves and love that unique being within us. Let the 'me' be in me and let us respect the 'you' in you.
Hence, in the tug-of-war, where is it 'me' or 'you', the need of acceptance is of utmost significance. For instance, a student who has a particular and unique way of dressing, communication, personality, believes and ideology has to be accepted by the class, institute and the society as a whole. This is because the student's uniqueness will make him or her different from others and when this 'difference' is trained and polished, we have the best human resource for the society. But more importantly, the acceptance of the 'self' by an individual can make miracles happen, within the person and within the greater universe.
Be different..!!!
