A political leader from the north, has decided to darken his skin tone before addressing rallies in Tamil Nadu.
I doubt this is very clever strategy.
Because if there is one thing we have perfected as a nation, it is our absolute, unwavering, and sometimes ridiculous obsession with fairness.
Not fairness in governance, mind you.
We have fairness creams, fairness face washes, fairness soaps, and I am quite sure somewhere in a laboratory a fairness toothpaste is being developed so even our smiles can qualify.
And here is this man, deciding to go darker.
I can almost imagine the crowd whispering among themselves, “Arrey, he is darker than us. What hope is there now?”
It is a strange country we live in. We worship the sun, pray for a good tan during vacations abroad, and then rush back home to scrub it off like we have committed some terrible mistake.
Even in places of worship, I have often looked up and wondered if Jesus had taken a long holiday in Switzerland. The portraits get fairer with each passing year. At this rate, in another decade, we may have a Scandinavian version of Him greeting us at the altar.
And someone has to stand up and gently remind everyone, “Excuse me, He was from the Middle East. The sun there is not exactly shy.”
Even our cricketers are not spared. Sanju Samson, a fine player by any standard, has faced comments not on his batting technique but on his skin tone. Imagine that. A man facing a 140 kilometre per hour delivery, and we are worried about whether he matches the shade card.
This is not just prejudice; it is a full-blown national hobby.
So, when a politician decides to darken his skin to “blend in,” he is not reading the room. He is redecorating it entirely in the wrong colour.
But there’s another side. I believe, people are far more perceptive than we give them credit for. If anything, I hope they can spot pretence faster than a tailor spots bad stitching.
As results come in, we may finally get the answer that no exit poll could predict. Not whether the leader’s party won or lost, but whether the people were fooled or not.
In my very vivid imagination I see, somewhere in a quiet room, that leader will sit before a mirror, not rethinking his manifesto, but wondering whether next time he should go two shades lighter or three shades darker, like a confused contestant on a reality show called Who Wants to Match the Electorate?
Which would be the real joke.
Not on him, but on us.
Because when a country forces its national leaders to choose their skin tone more carefully than their principles, then the problem is not in his makeup kit.
It is in the kind of people, our leaders think we are…!
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