Kuolachalie Seyie
The greatest security of a person is the goodwill of his neighbour. This goodwill is a priceless, intangible asset. But, the problem is, we do not see ourselves the way others see us, not realizing that the greatest ignorance is not to be aware of one’s ignorance.
We think we are good people – civilized, educated, affluent and spiritually strong etc but others may see us as hedonistic, arrogant and filled with foolish pride. Our behaviour hurts others and consequently the hurts that emerge from our behaviour, if not transformed, affect people around us.
For instance, it is sickening to hear from our elders about the extreme arrogant behaviour of some Angamis towards others communities in the past, compelling one community to break away and another community to discourage or rather prohibit speaking Tenyidie in spite of their own convenience because of past unbearable and unforgivable hurt. When you lose the goodwill of your neighbor, you are heading towards brokenness.
That is how our division, bitterness, doubts and fears go on and on in the highway of life and like a cancer in the body, breed more problems.
In my own life, my ability to relate to people of any nation or community was enhanced by my finding an answer to my bitterness against India but that was without any decrease or compromise in my commitment to our people. Earlier consuming hatred denied me any chance of relating well with people. So much so that I insisted on continuing court proceedings against a poor Hindu tailor who had abused me but was later repentant but I did not let up! So I ended up with one forever unmended relationship.
Let us all live to care for and look beyond ourselves to the needs of our neighbours. Be gentle and good to our neighbours to the point that they cannot just deny us. This way life is fair and secure at the end. Trust and act on it.
Life favors the humble and dedicated. The more we give to life, the more life sends back. This is the natural law. However, the pertinent question here, “Is God - and other people around me - the centre of my life or I am at the centre in whatever I do?” Why are we all so selfish? Let us examine ourselves with deep self-introspection, search ourselves through and through and analyze every psychological situation.
Socrates said, “A life not examined is not worth living “. Mrs. Doe Howard rightly points out that “If you want anything for yourself, everything goes wrong in whatever you do”. Do you agree with me that almost everything is going wrong in our Naga society today?
Looking at the visionless, instant gratification and get-rich-quick culture of our society, we find that it is degrading our values. This is coupled with hypocrisy of some leaders, lackadaisical approach to discipline, honesty, sincerity and purity, rampant corruption, extortions, kidnappings, fratricides etc.
Some of our leaders today are excellent preachers of holy nation, international citizenship and brotherhood but just preaching is not enough. Exemplary life is needed and some of them seem to live the contrary. It would be a happy response if we are able to declare that we love our neighbours as ourselves, that we love God, our land and people. Advocacy of a holy nation and declaring love of our neighbour as for ourselves means building of beautiful relationships, trust and goodwill of neighbour, accepting a principle and practice of making other people great and caring for them. It also means having concern and obligation for our neighbours as ourselves. It never means to behave as if we are the best and most worthy persons, and not seizing every opportunity without being bothered for our neighbours.
The seizing of all opportunities within our reach shamelessly and selfishly is what we have been doing all these years. That is the cause of all corruption and violence. God wants to use us as an investment to do good things, speak the right thing, love our neighbours and elevate each other. But the impediments arise from within ourselves, out of our foolish pride, prejudice, ego, stubbornness, selfishness, narrow– mindedness, laziness, hedonism or fear of being laughed at and the like.
The total personality of a person makes a man and not just one side of the coin. Characteristics of hypocrisy kills our trust, unity and religion today and creates misunderstanding and disunity. However, if a person is honest with himself he naturally radiates credibility and accountability to his neighbour. His right conduct and behaviour has its own uplifting quality. Every decision and action taken in pursuit of a selfless purpose strengthens one’s conviction and it wins the goodwill of his neighbours.
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter” - Martin Luther King Jr. Lets not be silent when our neighbour is victim of any exploitation. Why do many of us play small in the core areas of our lives? Why do we avoid change? Why don’t we have the guts to say sorry when we are wrong? Why do we always prefer to stick to our old selves? Why do we continue to have enmity and bitterness with neighbours just because of our foolish pride ?Why do we refuse to accept God’s call on our lives to love one another ? Why do many of us refrain from being remarkable?
Many a time the winner stands alone. The objective of taking a courageous stand by the winner alone is to meet challenges rather than prolong indecision. Responsibility and prompt action go together. Any good idea may die unless it is acted upon in time. The latent knowledge if not used, always gets lost. Are you afraid of being alone for the right cause?
Answers to all these questions may be impeded by invisible fences of self-centeredness, the fear of unknown and false pride which stop us making decisions for change or reaching out to our neighbours in need. R.M Lala says, “Unless a person is stretching his hand to give to the needy, it is in vain for him to stretch his hands to God in search of forgiveness of sins. If your search for a purpose is with yourself in the centre, you may run around in circles for a long time in vain.
Marxist theoretician and thinker, former president of Yugoslavia Mr. Milovan Djalas said “We are living today, in tomorrow’s world with yesterday’s ideas”. Has the so called civilization as we understand it today, made man only busier, more materialistic and not necessarily better? This indeed is a puzzling and perplexing dilemma. Yes, materially we are better today but at a great price in human terms and values.
We must learn that in order to have a new world and a new city, we need new people to build it, anyone who lacks integrity will always betray his nation. Yesterday’s hatred and wrong shed blood today, today’s blood will shed blood tomorrow. So, who is there to break the chain of hatred and bitterness? Who will bring water to the thirsty land? It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
Remember that God is in details. He blesses every little good you do; so also, Satan is in all details to put you down. Be careful in what you say or do. The way you do little things say a lot about the way you will do the big things. If your yard or home is well organized, if you are attentive to details like remembering the birthdays of your neighbours and sending thank you notes or returning calls after every meeting, you will be attentive to the details around your larger projects and bigger opportunities. And if your place of dealing is gentle and spotless there is a great chance that the work you do for your neighbours will reflect the same commitment to excellence.
“We care” for small things and that caring translates into remarkable service and it normally speaks loud enough. So pay attention to details.” Commitment to excellence is all about attention to detail” says a recent ad. Win the goodwill of your neighbour. Obsessive attention to detail is what world – class people always do because the little things truly are big ones. Your neighbors’ eyes are on your lifestyle, they see almost every step.
Let our self interest be replaced by mutual interest to create a win – win situation, let ego or prestige driven culture be converted into gentleness and fair play to re-make our world, so as to have a hope and a future.
(Presented at a seminar; Viswema Baptist Fellowship Kohima VBTK Hall PWD Kohima from 5th to 6th June 2010)
