Noel Manuel
A friend of mine once asked me the name of the institution where I worked. After a deep thought I responded that it is the ‘FAMILY.’ Amused by what I told him, he couldn’t help, but ask, what I actually meant by that. Equally eager to share the importance of this institution, I went on to share my insights on the significance of this wonderful association.
Like any other organization or institution, every family too, has an interesting story of its emergence and prosperity. It begins with two minds and an infrastructure called love that gradually takes shape into the most prestigious institution of our time.
The growth and success of any business establishment largely depends on the role of its employees and the constant efforts that are made on a day-to-day basis to promote its products. Be it factories, shops, educational institutions or any commercial outlet, there has to be an understanding between every employee and an equal amount of respect for each other. When a healthy bond is fashioned within an establishment, it begins to prosper in terms of not only roping in the moolah, but also securing each of its employees - financially and professionally.
Similarly, when a family develops an understanding of love, unity, forgiveness and respect for each other, it grows and develops into a respected institution roping in praises from one and all while also strengthening and securing each of its members, socially, spiritually, physically and mentally. Like a commercial establishment, every member in the family is equally responsible for its success or failure. No individual can be credited or blamed alone for the success or failure of this institution. It is the concerted efforts of every member, no matter how powerful or weak, able or unable that contributes to the well being of a family.
Like business establishments that are mushrooming each day, new families are also emerging. There are expensive establishments being launched and children of affluent families committing themselves to a new institution. There are cheap establishments also being inaugurated each day and children from poor families pledging themselves to one another. But just how many of these business establishments will actually last till the very end? Likewise, how many families that emerge each day out of love actually stay together during a lifetime? The answer lies in our commitment and dedication to make our own bed and not depend too much on our parents to do that for us.
Come to realize, we spend most of our time and energy depending on our parents for help even after we have tied the knot. As a result of which, we don’t have sufficient time or energy to focus on erecting our own families. Responsibility to erect one’s own family is not a commodity that can be picked up at the market or gifted to you by someone. It has to be cultivated from the day we decide to make our own bed and not look to the responsibility of our parents to that for us.
As much as we remain dedicated to our professional life, we need to equally remain committed to our family life and persistently keep working towards building a new security, free from the pressures of dominance and forced acceptance of obedience.
Have you ever wondered what actually makes a business click? There are many reasons that attribute to the success of a business and only one explanation that stands out among them - Human Relations. Internally and externally they are both very important because what goes on inside is purposefully reflected outside. If co-workers are not in good terms with each other, the customer is naturally going to be the victim of their soured relations. Identically, if family members are constantly on the warpath then society is going to suffer from the aroma of this misunderstanding.
Like business establishments that close down there are many families also falling apart. Rich families or poor families there is no disparity between the two, when it comes to separation. And why is that so? We don’t need to necessarily have plenty of money or position of power to unite our families and keep them happy. Because money and power are not and have never been the raw materials that could build the institution that we all seek to construct. If you believed that money makes the world go round, then you need to equally believe and realize that love and forgiveness makes families prosper round the world.
Too much of dependence on our parents has become our culture and way of life even when raising our very own families. From an extravagant wedding, house, car, flamboyant lifestyle and sometimes even the bride, we depend so much on them and surprisingly many of us consider that raising our own families is a favour being bestowed on our parents. The greatest gift that any parent could have ever given their child is the gift of life. And since we see the image of God in our parents, we should not expect too much of them, particularly after we have decided to raise our very own families. A friend of mine happily married with three children, once told me that he often helped his aged parents, even though they had enough, in return for some advice on the materials that go into building a strong institution.
During my days in school, I really enjoyed the early morning walks and the hustle and bustle of buses, trams and cars. But, it was actually the pavement dwellers that captivated me the most. Plastic tarpaulins in different colours and covered with bricks to prevent them from flying away lined the fencing wall of our school and within each of them lied the constitution of a happy family. Daily wage earners, who hardly knew the intricacies of family life, exemplified the real picture of the institution that we all seek to build.
My wife, like any other woman, often complained that I hardly set-aside anytime for the family. To think of it, her point was valid and made me realize that the amount of energy and time, I used to spend on promoting my professional life also called for me to spend the same energy and time to encourage my institutional life. And eversince, I started doing that along with the support from every member in the family, I have come to realize how much of prosperity and success emerges within this institution. We have been united like never before and this is because we are constantly at work strengthening and carrying out repairs of the faults and shortcomings of this institution.
We all have problems and there is no family that could boast of not having any sort of an ugly situation. So long as we choose and dedicate ourselves to working for this institution there will always be solutions to the problems. However, if we cease to work, the institution is bound to close down and it will happen sooner than we expect. Remember, we have to work to construct our houses, our professional life, our spiritual life and our success. But most of all we need to work and work hard to construct our family life. It is a universal truth that the more effort we put into working to construct our families, the better our old age life will get and the institution will continue to live on even after we have breathed our last.'
Business establishments worldwide are taking a cue from family life and transforming their enterprises into a family concern while also imparting special lessons to their employees on human relations and values. So much so that big industrialists have started to term their workforce machinery as one ‘BIG FAMILY.’'
Let us work, not only for money, but also to build our institution, because ultimately, money cannot understand or remember the energy and time that goes into earning it. But family members undoubtedly do.
noelmanuel@rediffmail.com
The writer is the Bureau Chief (Nagaland) of Eastern Panorama (News Magazine of the Northeast), Coordinator of the Northeast Region (Poetry Society of India) and Life Member of the Poetry Society of India, Phonetics Trainer
