There was a time when a lockdown meant a dangerous virus was roaming the country. Today it means the people setting the NEET examination papers have been locked away from society till June 21st so they don't leak the questions.
Imagine that. Two weeks in isolation. No friends. No family. No WhatsApp groups. No neighbour dropping in for tea. No suspicious uncle asking, "By the way, what are the questions this year?"
The poor paper setters have now joined an exclusive club which until recently consisted mainly of elected MLAs and MPs being transported to luxury resorts whenever governments looked shaky.
The logic is simple. If you cannot trust people, lock them up.
At this rate, I fear wedding caterers may soon be isolated before marriages so they don't reveal the menu. Cricket umpires may be confined before major matches. And school principals may be placed under house arrest before announcing exam results.
What a magnificent advertisement of national trust.
Then, while recovering from this news, I read another masterpiece.
A newly inaugurated flyover, opened two days ago, in Goregaon, Mumbai, has reportedly developed cracks and uneven surfaces. The front page of a national daily, showed the pictures. Naturally citizens were alarmed.
But the explanation was even more fascinating than the cracks.
The cracks and uneven surfaces, we are told, are intentional.
Intentional. Apparently, they help prevent skidding.
I sat quietly after reading this and admired their brilliance in lying.
For years engineers around the world have wasted time trying to build smooth roads. They have spent billions studying road safety, vehicle dynamics and construction technology.
Little did they know the answer were cracks and bumps. Perhaps we have discovered a revolutionary new science.
Soon airports may introduce uneven runways to stop aircraft from over speeding.
Hospitals may install cracks in operating theatres to improve concentration among surgeons.
And restaurants may serve burnt food intentionally to help customers appreciate the good dishes.
Once you accept any explanation, no matter how ridiculous, the possibilities become endless.
In fact, instead of locking away the NEET paper setters, we could simply allow another paper leak and then announce that it was part of a practical educational programme.
After all, we keep hearing that education should prepare students for real life, right? So, what better way to teach children about corruption than by giving them a live demonstration?
Theory and practical. Classroom and laboratory. Textbook and fieldwork.
The students would learn exactly how our country works before entering adulthood.
One headline shows us a lockdown. The other on the front page gives us cracks.
One reveals a lack of trust. The other insults our intelligence.
And as citizens, we stand on the uneven surface between the two, trying very hard not to skid into the black hole our present leaders are digging for us..!
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