Abraham Lincoln is one of the most respected and revered among the US presidents. He lived for only about 56 years which means he neither died young nor died an old man. He was assassinated at the prime of his political career. He is often credited with being the one who re-united his divided country and abolished slavery in America. All in all, Abraham Lincoln is generally portrayed and perceived as a gentle, loving, god-fearing, compassionate, just, virtuous and noble soul who happened to adorn human history as the 16th President of the United States.
But far from these notions and impressions about Lincoln are some of the most interestingly contrasting and fascinating facets about this much-revered historical figure. Abraham had a troubled and fallible childhood and teenaged years. More than once did he have his share of bouts of depression bordering on suicidal intentions. He craved for female company but had tragic disappointments in matters of love and was always clumsy and awkward amongst women. He had a scorn for religious faith in his early life. His mother died when he was 9 years old and he never got the love, care and attention that he needed from his father.
On 12th February 1809, Abraham Lincoln was born in a logged cabin 18 feet long in Kentucky. He was the second child of his parents and had an elder sister. He received only a smattering of formal education after which his father put him to work in the field. Abraham Lincoln proved himself a loyal son even in the farm and fields. But it was in the farm that the first difference between the father and son became painfully apparent.
Lincoln did not like manual labor but he did not leave any work unfinished. Lincoln loved to read and he would be reading even when his father expected him to be working in the field and the young Abraham’s bold behavior angered his father. Young Abraham’s temperament, values and ideals were in direct conflict with those of his father. Though Lincoln’s formal education had been abruptly ended by his father, his informal education continued unabated as Lincoln loved to read and he devoured all the books he could lay his hands on.
In 1818 Lincoln suffered a tragedy that would haunt him for the rest of his life. Nine year old Abraham and his sister watched their mother die in their one room cabin. She died in the room where everybody ate and slept. Young Abraham had to assist his father in making the coffin. His mother was buried right outside their house and he saw his mother’s grave everyday as he grew up and it was a horrific and painful experience for the young boy. Lincoln’s tendency to be depressed in adult life which was a marked feature of his character can be traced back to these painful childhood experiences.
Not only did Lincoln have to perform hateful chores in his farm but his father would rent him out to neighbors at 25 cents and he would return home and gave that money to his father. That was the law during that time - you were the property of your father till you were 21 years of age. Lincoln’s years of experience as a laborer would shape his political beliefs. He did not see it as fare that somebody would work the whole day in the farm and somebody else would get paid for it and not the laborer. His idea to end slavery came from this experience.
During 1833-34, Lincoln was in love with a lady in town. She accepted his overtures and they were engaged to be married. This lady was a lady of exquisite beauty. A wedding day was set but the wedding was never to be as the lady became ill and died. Lincoln became depressed and there was no romance for about a year.
Then another woman by the name of Mary Owens entered his life. This lady was not physically beautiful but she was cultured, cultivated, sophisticated and educated. But then again things did not work out. Whether he dropped Mary Owens or was himself a rejected suitor can never be proven but there was no doubt that the failed romance had a profound impact on Lincoln.
In 1837, Lincoln moved to Springfield and received his license to practice Law. He started practicing law but his personal life remained unsuccessful. He was still single. His awkwardness among women was legendary yet he still desired their companionship.
Lincoln continued to doubt his worthiness as a potential husband but that opinion changed when he was introduced to Mary Todd, the daughter of a wealthy banker. The two were immediately attracted to one another despite very different backgrounds. She was well-born, given a terrific education, smart and sophisticated. But Mary and Abraham had something in common. They both loved poetry, they took politics very seriously and they were very ambitious.
In late 1840, Lincoln made the toughest decision of his personal life, he proposed to Mary Todd and she accepted but months later Lincoln had a change of heart. All of a sudden he fell in love head over heels with a gorgeous 18 year old girl named Matilda Edwards.
He was always clumsy and awkward with women but in his heart he realized that he was in love with Matilda and he thought he should not marry Todd if he was in love with another woman. He thought it would be dishonest to be in love with someone and marry another woman. So he broke the engagement with Todd.
The next year of Lincoln’s life is often described in history books as his crazy period. Lincoln was again depressed to the point that friends worried that he might become suicidal. According to some observers, the crazy period peaked and ended on 4th Nov 1842 when with only one day’s notice, he married Mary Todd.
By 1844 Lincoln earned a comfortable income as a lawyer and he purchased his first house. He had political aspirations also but some obstacles were his physical appearance, his lack of proper background and his lack of religion. Surprisingly, Lincoln even attacked the Bible and sometimes he bordered on atheism. In 1834-35, he had even wrote a pamphlet attacking the divinity of Christ.
As a father, Lincoln also had to endure what no father could bear – the loss of two precious sons in tender age.
We cannot appreciate his triumphs unless we realize how difficult his childhood was and how difficult his marriage was, how he overcame these obstacles that were so formidable. Yes Honest Abe had to struggle in almost every area of his life. His mother died before he was even 10 years old, his father never gave him the needed support and validation. He was never popular amongst women whose company he really desired. As a young father, he had to endure the worst nightmare for any father – the pain and hurt of losing two young sons. War, conflicts and tensions engulfed the whole of his presidency.
But despite these odds against him, Abraham Lincoln earned the nickname “Honest Abe” for his honesty and integrity. He was always called in to be the unofficial umpire in wrestling matches in the neighborhood and at local horse races because everyone considered him to be the most honest and most impartial man in town. Abraham loved to read books and he ultimately became a lawyer. A career in law and an obsession with honesty and integrity may not go well. There is a general belief that all lawyers lie and that a lawyer needs to lie or must lie in order to go ahead in his career. But even after landing himself in such a profession where lying is not the exception but the norms, Honest Abe made a niche for himself for his honesty and integrity. Thus, even before he walked the corridors of power or entered the political circle, his honesty and integrity had almost become legendary.
To endorse his honesty and integrity once and for all, we may end with an unforgettable experience which Lincoln once had with a prostitute. A friend had once arranged a prostitute for him and when he and the girl were alone in the room, he came to learn that the girl charges $5 for her service whereas he had only $3 in his pocket. So our honest man excused himself saying that he did not wish to go on credit and that he was a poor man and did not know where his next $2 would come from. So he gave the $3 to the girl and moved out without doing anything.
In the end, he proved himself a man of great character, integrity and tremendous endurance. Yes, a man from whom all of us can draw inspiration and encouragement…so, what’s your excuse.
