The Big Fat Naga Wedding

How much does a supposedly ‘usual’ wedding in Nagaland cost today? Approximately five lakhs and beyond! This excludes the miscellaneous costs such as the wedding gown, dresses for the bridesmaids and flower girls, suits for bridegroom and groomsmen. Photographers’ rates range from Rs. 25,000 to Rs. 1,00,000. Wedding dresses costs Rs. 30,000 and above. For the highly extravagant, wedding costs can touch a Crore.

Today the Naga wedding is no different from the big fat Indian wedding. “The marriage culture that Nagas practice today is imported. We have been fed by the mass media and cultures outside our own,” says a concern Naga (who wished not to be named), who is of the view that while western society has moved on towards more sensible, frugal and environment-friendly weddings, Nagas are caught up in an old western culture. The concerned Naga is also of the view that what has been fed to the mass is akin to brainwashing.

“I think it is wrong to spend so extravagantly on weddings. It’s not only you who suffers but the whole family suffers for that,” says Pastor Rachülie Vihienuo, from Union Baptist Church, who is of the view that peer pressure is also present among adults and not just teenagers.

Much like the elaborated affairs of an Indian wedding, Nagas too are catching up with the fancy affairs of engagement parties, Bridal showers, Bachelors party, the Wedding after Party. And very often, the real meaning of marriage gets lost in the ‘busyness’ of the preparations for the wedding. There is more tension for the wedding gown, decorations and food. “We are not focusing on what is important but on the miscellaneous. Of course, people can do whatever they want but it has an impact on the others. Also Nagas are so adaptive to materialism but when it comes to non-materialism we remain so rigid,” says another.

In the 500-1000 people that are invited, one would hardly know half of the invitees. “In some high profile weddings, the decorations alone cost five to six lakh,” says a Wedding Planner who adds that many Nagas like to flaunt the excessive money they have on their weddings. Weddings have become environmentally hazardous too, with the unnecessary use of plastic bottles, disposal cups and plates. 

Growing need for more sensible approach
“The happy ending of a low-cost wedding is that you can settle down without any debt tensions,” says Asa Seyie, a recently married man who had a low-cost wedding. He is of the view that low-cost weddings are less stressful to the couple, families and the community helping out.

Vihienuo feels that the church must talk about it and educate their members to keep their weddings simple. The best would be to educate the young people on the challenge and difficulties. Counseling is another important factor. While entering marriage, it is important for both the spouses to know their financial situations. It is very important for every church to prepare every couple for marriage.

“The problem with Naga society is that everyone feels the need to live up to one’s standards,” he says and further asserts that weddings in Nagaland have a western influence, which is not bad, but can be more economical if we can be more “ourselves”.

In a society where the upper strata of society have a huge influence over the rest, Vihienuo also views that privileged people can set the example. People’s mentalities have to change because the influence we put on each other is demanding and pressurizing.

“We (Nagas) use other’s ideas. We do not innovate, we do not create ideas. We imitate ideas. And we are not able to differentiate between wants and needs,” says Wabang, a concerned Naga youth. He asserts that adopting traditional ideas such as going for traditional attires instead of the usual tuxedos and gowns are original, grand and cost less. Mass weddings needs to be encouraged.

However, at the end of the day, to have or not to have an expensive wedding is a matter of choice but in all the extravagant affairs, the beauty of marriage- the union of two people- needs to be upheld.