Dowry system in India is a black system in India which is diabolical in its effect. The dowry system was thought to have been started with the concept of downgrading the status of womanhood because a woman has to pay heavy dowry to get married with a man. It is the outcome of the arrogance of men which put female sex on the side of sub-human beings. The concept of men is that male is superior sex and female is inferior. A man says to a woman, “If you want to marry me, pay my value so that we get married.” The parents of the woman say, “ We need to arrange for our daughter’s marriage. We need to seek a man to be the husband of our daughter and if found out we have to bear dowry”. The marriage was solemnised but in case the promised dowry is not paid up, the wife is tortured even to death!
The dowry system became a burning problem in India and the consequence is that the poor class of people is overwhelmly worried about economic burden inevitably to be borne for the marriage of their daughters. So a daughter born to the family is a matter of worriness instead of happiness. So female children are harshly treated by the their parents. According to newpapers female babies are even thrown into Ganges River. The people try to remove female foetus from the womb.
I came across two incidents of inhuman treatment meted out to innocent female children by parents. Once as I was going down to Dimapur from Kohima by Bus, a Hindu family consisting of the parents and three children were in front of me. The elder children were sitting together with the parents and the youngest child being a female baby seemed to be over one year old was placed lying on their luggages. When the baby vomited, the father got furious and slapped on the cheek. After a few minutes when the baby was going to vomit again, the father was going to slap her again but when I shouted, “Nonsense”, he stopped. The second incident took place at Kohima Town. A man from plain was taking hold of the feet of his daughter about 4 years old up and the head down at the height of about 5 feet and as she was crying she was dropped down and her head hit the ground.
Such inhuman incidents might have been a reflection of the dowry system in existence and the incidents I came across might have been out of thousands of horrible incidents relating to dowry system. From time to time we see news across news papers about horrible inhuman treatment meted out to the wives in connection with nonpayment of the promised dowry.
Any thing good is good for all and any thing bad is bad for all. Nothing which is good for the people can be bad for you and nothing which is bad for the people can be good for you too. So if there is any thing good for the people, it should be retained and upheld and any thing bad for the people should be abandoned or revoked. Today a young man is enriched by receiving dowry from his wife but tomorrow he will have to suffer for what he has enjoyed today. The woman has to give dowry as she marries with a man and tomorrow too she will have to carry the burden for her daughter’s marriage. No man or woman can escape from the good thing or the evil thing existing in the society. So the best thing for all is to put any evil thing to an end and to support the good thing together to make it prevail. The simple thing to be understood is that if there is no dowry for your wife, there would be no dowry for your daughter also. The people are not to be slaves to self-created evil customs and traditions but to be freed at the top as well as at grass root level.
Christianity in India is a minority group. But Christians ought to practice good example to help solve the problem. When I asked a Christian whether he received dowry from his wife or not, he smilingly replied “Yes”. Practical example will be better than word of protest. A marriage is to be out of mutual respect and love. It is a marriage according to human ethics towards God and towards fellow men and women.
I belong to Angami Tribe of Nagaland. In animistic religion if a young man is to be married, the family seeks a woman to be his partner. If courting a woman concluded, a day is fixed for marriage ceremony. The family of the bride requires three persons normally two women and one man to accompany the bride to the groom usually at night. No feast is arranged except formal taste of food and drink. On return of the companions back home the same night, the groom has to give a cock each to the companions and a cock and a spear to be given to the family of the bride.
In Christianity, marriage feast is normally extravagant which needs to be controlled. But usually marriage feast is arranged or borne by the groom. If the bride is capable and is interested to contribute some thing towards the feast, it is accepted with thanks. If not nothing is expected of the bride for the feast. Even expenses for wedding dresses of the bride and her maid are offered by the groom. According to the custom, a woman will never take initiative to court a man. It is considered as a matter of shame by the family of the bride. Formerly in certain tribe heavy dowry was to be paid to the bride by the groom and in case the husband died, the wife of the deceased husband was married to one of his brothers as if the woman was purchased. But such practice was gone.
Customs and traditions are human creation. Good customs and traditions reflect good society and wrong customs and traditions reflect wrong social life. If the right customs and traditions exist, the question of gender problem will not arise. Male or female is the gift of God and nobody can grudge against it. The wife cannot be blamed for giving birth to either sex. Whether male or female the people should be happy but some where the parents are worried for the children being female. Female children are thought to be unfortunate. It is because of the existence of wrong customs created in the society. Personally speaking, by the grace of God I have three sons and three daughters and I thank God and am happy for the sons and the daughters. We have no custom which can make us worry particularly for the female children. We are not slaves to any self-created evil custom. The people all over the world who have wrong customs and traditions are in slavery to their own wrongly created customs and traditions. If there is no sense of shame, the people behave like wild animals. Claiming dowry is a matter of shame and inconsistency. Where dowry is claimed, the family cannot have mutual respect and love. Commercialised families will produce wild characteristics for the society.
The families which do not know what human ethics is, they live like wild animals. Such families do not have the essence of a family. For instance; a family which have several children, the mother flees away with another man leaving the children behind and returns no more. Or a father also does the same. They are men and women who have no human sense. Their immorality is more important than the children of their flesh and blood.
The greatness of the country is proved by the characteristic of the people, not by the size or power. The beauty of the cities is proved by the behaviour of the people, not by sceneries. The people are proved to be civilized if every one of the people irrespective of races and religions feels free and secure because no real civilised man or woman behaves unbecomingly or savage to others. Human ethics of relationship with God and with fellow men and women, “Know God, believe in Him, fear Him and obey Him and Love your neighbour as yourself. Do to others what you will have others do to you” only will bring real civilization to the people every where in the world. Dowry system is a derailment of the track of human ethics of relationship. Let us create awareness about the horrible effect of the dowry system in India which put woman-folk in tension as the suppressed sex under the beautiful umbrella of democracy and put the heads and hands together to bring it to an end so that the female sex in slavery may be set free to live freedom of life.
L. Suohie Mhasi
P.O. Box 49, Kohima 797001
Email rev.suohie_mhasi@yahoo.com
