Monster inside of me

A couple of years ago, I asked some students in my class to write feedback. They replied me with lots of unbelievable feedback in pieces of papers- both appreciations and suggestions. But one thing that struck a troubled cord of my mind was, around one-third of the respondents could see monster inside of me, that is, “anger and fiery temper.”
I know that I have anger and fiery temper, I also know that the Bible says, “He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly,” Prov 14:29 (KJV), and my mind is also filled with Ephesians 4:26, “be angry and sin not…” But is this possible for a sinner like me to get angry without committing sins? An adage echoes, “Anger is just one word behind danger.” Solution was then not even hovered around.
Anger and fiery temper has been an integral part of my life. It has been the bone of contention for building sound relationship with others as I was chained to the lamppost of anger and fiery temper. Using my ingenuity, I tried a great number of abortive attempts to unchain it until our gracious Lord gave me wisdom to pray for this cause. Undoubtedly, prayer has proven itself the panacea to numb the active monster inside of me. I have found the remedy through Thy grace. Our Lord Jesus Christ has put inside of me a prayer to combat the monster, “Lord Jesus, you are the owner of my both body and soul; you are in control of every single cell on my body. Let thy Holy Spirits reign over me.” My fight against the monster began with this simple prayer.
Today, I used to pray before I go to classrooms, church, meetings, etc. to walk through the valley of monsters. It works. Nevertheless, it is the monster inside of me that bridge the lacunae between God and me. I remember what Paul had to say, “And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure,” 2 Cor 12:7 (KJV). For me anger and fiery temper is just like the “thorn in the flesh.” But it is like a built-in warning system everywhere I go. It gives me impulse to pray unceasingly.  While doing so my relationship with Him becomes more intimate and that relationship with Him turns from personal to intra-personal relationship through prayer.
I thank God for creating this monster inside of me. It is the gift that nobody would wants, but it teaches me to build my relationship with Him stronger than never before. As “thy grace is sufficient for me,” I can now control and disable this monster and I am no longer under this servitude.
The hitherto ‘monster’ has become like ‘banister’ to support me go up and down. It also bolsters up my morale and confidence. It’s like that of the fairy tale “ugly duckling,” in which the ugly duck turns into a beautiful swan.
Friends, monsters may be inside of you too. You might have been struggling against this for days, months and years without any tangible results. But there is a solution: “install the anti-virus (Jesus) in your system (heart) to detect and cure the virus.” No amount of counseling, proverbs and philosophies can change your mind, except Jesus Christ. I overheard some people saying there is a “cavity” in human hearts, which cannot be filled up by anything. If it is true biologically, thanks to God. Our Lord Jesus Christ can fill it comfortably. Let’s cement more our faith and pray unceasingly. Miracle isn’t a historical event; it’s a living event- yesterday, today and tomorrow.