The only constant thing in life is change. Change is everywhere. It is there in every individual both internally and externally. It is there in the environment, and it is there in the society, and it is part and parcel of every life. And what makes us to change? It is the motivation for a better and peaceful life that propels us to change every minute, every hour and every day. Everyday brings us newness/change and provides us opportunities to grow.
Motivation is one of the key issues in the treatment of chemically dependent persons and it is the first phase of therapeutic treatment and recovery. An addict cannot be kept in the treatment centre forcefully, but one has to be well motivated to face the reality. Usually, motivating an addict to seek treatment starts when his/her dear ones/family realizes that he/she may be unable to help himself/herself and needs to act in his/her best interest. While they still love him/her and have concern for his/her health, they must resolutely refuse to share his warped “life in a bottle/drug” perspective.
Mr. Jimmy an 18 years old guy smokes ganja everyday. He cannot imagine a day without it. However, he says, “I am not an addict; if I decide, I can give up ganja at any time.” An addict always denies his/her addiction and problems in order to protect himself/herself from feeling hurt, sad or guilty and also to continue with drinking or drugging. To friends, family members and well wishers of the addict, ‘Denial’ will appear as a lie, or to avoid taking the responsibility for his/her own harmful actions. They, therefore become angry and hostile towards the addict/alcoholic.
Denial is a phase of the disease of addiction and therefore they are not purposely telling lie. For an addict ‘realization’ will take place slowly, hence breaking up their denial also needs time. When family members, friends, co-workers etc unknowingly try to protect him/her or take responsibility for the consequences of his/her addiction, an addict’s denial gets strengthened. Compensators do the role of enablers too. The term ‘compensators’ refers to the wife, parents or other family members who take over the responsibilities of the addict.
Motivating an addict is not an easy task; it needs lot of patience and good will and follow up. Experience proves that preaching does not work. A nudge or a push at the right time can help and it also shows that we care. Push may even come to shove when the person with alcohol or other drug troubles must choose between losing family or job, and going to treatment. Thousands of alcohol and other drug abusers have been helped when a spouse, employer, or court official made treatment a condition for continuing family relationships, job, or probation. We cannot cure the illness, but when the crucial moment comes we can guide the person to avail competent help.
A person who desires to help an addict should not get upset or angry over his/her denial. Compassion and understanding are vital to motivate an addict. It is relatively easy to help an addict who approaches for help. But, most of the addicts may not seek such help as they may not even know that addiction is a disease which requires treatment. Since strong stigma is attached to addiction, the person will never accept that he/she is an addict or ask for help. Therefore identification of an addict is important in the first place. Once we have identified a person as an addict, we must meet the person often. We should enquire sympathetically about his/her problem and listen keenly with understanding love and compassion.
In the course of their addiction, an addict may face a crisis like meeting with an accident, receiving a warning letter at his/her place of work, receiving warning letters from schools for absenteeism, etc. It is during a crisis, that the addict may be willing to see the problem arising out of drinking/drugging. So, we should not blame the addict for the crisis but to know that this is the right time for any well wishers to persuade the addict to take treatment.
Some points to motivate an addict:
Maintain individual dignity: We should not refer to him/her as ‘drunkard’ or ‘addict’. We must accept him/her as a person of dignity and worth.
Listen without judging: We should not judge him as good or bad. We have to control our temptation to make any comments even when his/her actions appear totally unacceptable.
Avoid arguments: We have to remember that denial is part of the disease of addiction. So we must not argue when the addict/alcoholic says that he/she has no problem of drinking or drugging.
Compassion instead of confrontation: We should not confront him/her with logic, reasoning or arguments. It would be best to approach the addict with lot of compassion and understanding because he/she has a disease.
Patience: We should not be impatient to push him/her for treatment. We need to listen patiently to all that the addict/alcoholic says. It takes time for a person to accept or ask for help.
No preaching: We should not lecture the addict/alcoholic or advise him/her about what he/she must or must not do.
Trust and confidence: Confidentiality is important in motivating an individual. In this regard building trust and an assurance of secrecy is vital.
Keep the link alive: We must not break off the relationship with the addict/alcoholic at any time. Let him/her know that we are always available to provide support and help. We could tell him/her clearly, “I am always there to help you. Please do not hesitate to contact me at any time”.
Whatever may be the addiction like gambling, alcohol, drugs, etc…, there is an addiction treatment for it at different places. We can take help from the rehabilitation centers, drop-in centers, and local support groups and others who have availed the services and recovered from it. Remember if a loved one is addicted to something we need to address it with them and let them know our concerns and that we are there to support and stand by them. Now many therapists use rehabilitation as a measure of outcome – success is considered as an achievement when the patient maintains or reestablishes a good family life and work record, and a respectable position in the community. Relapse may occur but that does not mean the person or the treatment effort has failed. We need to accept the fact that recovery is an ongoing process where the person is guided closely to recognize the factors that leads him/her to addiction and help bring to regain the strength and courage to say ‘No’ to any substance at any time. “Recovery from any addiction is possible; seek it and save your life”
N. Longshio Yanthan
Shalom Rehabilitation Centre
Chumukedima
