Som Kamei
It’s been a year since my father, Prof. Gangmumei Kamei passed away but his memories and thoughts never really faded even a single moment.
To the world, he was “Oja Gangmumei”, a teacher, a politician, a social activist, a friend, a philosopher and guide, but to us, his children and grandchildren he was simply “Baba” or “Apou”. He was the world to all of us. Every day we miss him more.
The past one year has gone by in a blink of an eye. We have not had enough time to reflect on the loss of our father as we are all busy trying to come to terms and get use to our new lives without him.
The commemoration of his first death anniversary on 5th January, 2018 has given us an opportunity to recall and remember our times spent with him over the years.
As a father, he was a family man who always taught us the correct way to deal with life’severy situation. I still remember the daily family rituals of discussion on every topic at the dinner table. These discussions covered the whole gamut of topics on history, science, latest political developments, sports and even trivial jokes. He encouraged all of us to give our opinion and take a stand and always taught us never to be neutral. Baba always told us to stand up for the weak and defend them. The best part was that you could disagree with himand he will treat you as if that’s alright and normal to have a differing opinion. He taught us to be our own man.
Many of our friends were in awe of him because of his reputation as an academician and politician. But he could chat up with them in a friendly way and never imposed his opinion. In fact, when I told my friends that we share many of our class jokes with him they were quite surprised to not only learn that he knows our jokes but also enjoys them.
Baba was a very liberal and secular man who believes that all resources whether it is knowledge or material should be shared with others. He was a very generous man and we have seen many times, giving away his own belongings to poor people and monetary help to people less fortunate than us, even though we were not very rich or overtly comfortable. He had a special corner for the people of Nungba constituency, his political battlefield for more than 30 years. Our home was open 24x7 for all people and many a times my mother and aunty had to even forgo their share and make do with little leftovers food and go to bed. In this Baba was always ready to sacrifice his own share for the guests but he never took credit or mentioned to anyone about such sacrifices that he made for his people. He was generous beyond words and above all, a humanist to the core.
Baba had a special quality which made all those around him feel that he was their friend indeed. This made him come close with all people who came in contact with him. For us, he was not only our mentor and guide but also our best friend. For Baba, friends were for keeps and these examples can be seen from his lifelong intellectual friendship with renowned academician like Prof. B.K. Roy Burman, his deep and personal relation with Maharaj Kumar Priyabrata Singh, the first Chief Minister of independent India, and with legendary soldier and bureaucrat like Bob Khathing. His association with legends like Rani Gaidinliu, the great freedom fighter of the North East India made him indispensable till her death in 1993. His former students like Prof. N. Joy Kumar Singh and Prof. Lal Dena became his closest friends who stood by him thick and thin in various stages of his life. It is not possible to mention and acknowledge all his friends here in this short article but it’s quite clear that Baba’s ability in making friends and his loyalty to them stood him in good stead.
Baba had a special relationship with our mother Smt. G. Lanshailu. Every decision our family took was very democratic and taken in consultation with all members. He led a very hectic and busy life but our mother took care of our family and especially us children with a no nonsense attitude. His work in academic and politics meant that he was away from home for months together. In his absence, my mother took care of not only of us children but also the joint family in which we shared everything. She understood that Baba had a greater calling and never bothered him with our day to day household business. She only sounded him out only when she had difficulty in meeting the expenditure or cost of living.Baba never shared his monetary difficulties with us. Only sometimes we were refused certain of our demand but over the years we alsonever complain as we got the best of education and other facilities that he could afford to his four children. Baba really appreciated this sacrifice and hard struggle of my mother and he has acknowledged this by dedicating few of his books to her as an act of his deep love for her.
What we learn from our father’s life was the art of giving to people without expecting anything in return. Helping someone less fortunate than us was not only the right thing to do but also a way of life for him. We also over the years got used to this philosophy of life.
Baba was always humble and down to earth with everyone he interacted. Though he did not come from a privileged background he never felt out of place while interacting with the best mindsor powerful people. As children we were quite used to Chief Ministers, Ministers, MLAs, academicians, bureaucrats, Public leaders etc. dropping in our humble home for a cup of tea and interacting with my father. Later on we use to just sit with them and listen to their discussions on various topics confronting the society or the state or the country. This exposure stood us in good stead when we joined our various professional lives.
My father was a natural teacher and a sharer of knowledge. He used to tell us that he always wanted to be a teacher and nothing else. The rest of his activities whether it is politics, social or in cultural field, it was a natural extension of his concerns or interests which he felt as a teacher. We still remember an incident when he was an opposition MLA in the Manipur State Assembly. He had quite a reputation as a fiery opposition MLA and used to take the Govt. policies to task in the Assembly. Many ministers were quite naturally scared to face such a formidable opponent and use to avoid him. The then Chief Minister Shri Rishang Keishing use to advice his ministers to be not scared of him but rather listen to him as a student and take his advice in a constructive way and make the necessary changes. That was the type of influence the teacher in him had in his role as the politician. He remained a lifelong teacher to all.
Now, a question may arise in many people’s minds as to how he treated his opponents in politics or people who betrayed trusts? From my experience, he was always polite and never spoke personal ill of his opponents whether it is in politics or other fields. He did not take political betrayers seriously as he thought that it was part and parcel of the political profession. One of his favourite quotes was that there was no permanent friend or foe in politics. But for people, who crossed or insulted his integrity, he was quite stubborn and he never forgave them. Though he was sometimes known for his fiery temper, he was always the first one to apologize if he felt that he has crossed the line. Even with us children he was always ready to make up and easethe tension if there was any argument. It is this magnanimity that we all this missdearly today.
Baba was sureof the anchors which gave his life meaning. One of this was his strong and uncompromising belief in the Almighty or Tingkao Ragwang which he has passed on to all of us. He strongly felt that when an indigenous and primodial religion is already in existence with deep philosophical and spiritual moorings, there was no need to look beyond for meaning of life. He mentored and encouraged the development through spiritual and philosophical awakening of the TingkaoRagwangChapriak (TRC) of which he was a lifelong follower.
Another famous quality of our father was his strong determination in any task that he set out to do. Though he was disorganized in his day to day habits, he was always determined to finish his work in one sitting or attempt. His habit was to finish an interesting book from start to finish in one go whether it’s in the day or night. Many a times, we have seen him locked inside his study room for days and coming out only with a finished article or a book with a broadest smile and sense of achievement. In fact, many a cups of teas or snacks was left cold and untouched which was always a matter of contention with my mother. His total ignorance of his own health was one of the reasons for his later ailments.
It is said that children unknowingly or intentionally get influenced by their parents and such qualities or habits over the years comes out in the personality of the children. Similarly, I have been influenced by my father in inculcating some of his quirks and qualities. I have personally tried to always follow him in keeping one’s word and earn the respect of others. I have never come across any such incident where people have accused him of not keeping his word. I know that his words to my grandmother and grandfather were kept till his last breathe. I hope that we, as his children can keep our words and live up to his expectations and standards that he has set for us.
Many people admires my father for his various talent and qualities, whether it was his brilliant academic record, his oratory skills, his scientific mind, his generosity, his concern for the tribal people, his research works and path breaking books in Historical studies but what I admired him the most, was for one ability, his capacity to solve problems. He has resolved innumerable problems whether it’s a small petty dispute between individuals, families, communities, parties, administrative or political problems confronting the state or the country. I have come across many a times getting calls from CMO or Ministers office or from Chief Secretaries Office asking where my father was and how to get in touch with him as soon as possible. Invariably it happens only when there were communal tensions, humanitarian crisis or historical and academic disputes. He was in the forefront during the times of communal crisis such as Manipuri-Outsiders, Kuki-Naga crisis, Paite-Kuki or the Meitei-Pangal communal tensions. He was always for peace based on equality and respect for each other. I had come to the conclusion many years back that he was the ‘go to guy’ for not only us, his children but also for the whole State. In fact he used to say that there was no problem in the world which cannot be resolved through Dialogue and discussions. He was the true problem solver in all aspects of life.
Since the day Baba passed away, he has left an indelible void in all the people who came across him or whose lives were touched by him in some ways or the other. But for the immediate family members, we remember him with pride and every day we thank our Almighty Tingkao Ragwang for bringing him into our lives. We are indeed lucky to be part of his remarkable and successful life and we are blessed to have known and interacted with him from such close quarters as family members. As we complete a year of his passing away from this world, the family members are grateful to all the well-wishers, admirers, friends, colleagues and his followers for their help and support to us during the difficult period for us all. To carry on the great legacy that he has left behind, the family members have formed a registered trust in his name: Gangmumei Kamei Foundation. We hope that all well-wishers will continue to support this endeavour and give blessings for its success.
KALUM
