Aya A. Shimray
Westernization, Modernization and Globalization are largely held responsible for the onslaught on our primitive society and decay of socio-cultural ethos and moral values. ‘Permissiveness’ no doubt is a brainchild of such evolution from the global phenomena. Permissiveness is the newest code that has crept into our society – squarely staring and posing the greatest threat at our cultural periphery. A new culture is born. Today, Permissiveness has forayed into the vulnerable domain which is collectively nomenclatured ‘Younger Generation’ and thus may be fittingly tagged as the ‘enemy-within-us’. An enemy at large…everywhere! No one knows who, when and how this virus is created. Only one thing is certain – if this virus be allowed to proliferate unchecked, our society might be at stake.
Webster Dictionary defines ‘Permissiveness’ as ‘allowing freedom; not strict; permitting certain things, Tolerant and lenient’. The younger generation today, born, gifted and blessed with so much freedom and liberty by their ever-loving parents and our generous society are here to take on the global village. In fact, they are the scions of a mixed and perverted culture that the global village is all about. With our society itself loosing direction from the onslaught, they are caught in the quagmires of confusion. They simply represent the face of a ‘confused’ identity and culture. Permissiveness in our society has redefined the meaning and connotation of our culture, extensively. With so much liberty in their hands and immune from any impunity, our youngsters today care little or nothing for the social ethos and values of our society. Taking law into their own hands, respect for the elderly is sharply dwindling. Our traditional values have come to be dismissed as mere thing of the past and ‘outdated’ and ‘unfashionable’. The old maxim ‘dignity of labour’ has died a premature death.
So who do we blame for? Parents? Our educational system? The Media? Or the society itself? Almost all of them. It may never be a wrong saying that right from the moment a baby child comes out from a mother’s womb, a child’s education starts henceforth. So naturally, from the time the child learns to crawl, stand, walk to learning the alphabets, the home becomes the child’s first learning school; the parents his first teacher. That maybe one of the obvious reasons why researchers attach so much importance to the co-relations between the overall behavior of a child with the type of conditions on which the child was made to grow. However, many a times, as instances would substantiate, today’s parents just to show off their unconditional love for their child are often found to be at the wrong end, conceding too much to the child’s demands. Frequently, the child’s pampered demands are taken very lightly or mistaken for needs. Researchers and behavioralists are never wrong in their findings that unlike some 20 or 30 years back, children today may not be simply discarded as ‘simple’ kids. Today’s kids are much quicker in comprehending and picking up things. They are simply smart and can outwit most of the parents. So slowly but definitely, from the ice-cream demand to the latest bikes in the market, the parents are increasingly feeling the pinch of child pressure.
Our parents today obviously are less concerned about the importance of imparting traditional values and knowledge. I still remember my grandma and my parents telling me so many bedtime stories about the folklores and gallant tales of the forefathers. No doubt, the folklores, often accompanied by songs contained so much of the finer values of life, about respecting and loving the land, the environment, and the elders and about philanthropic values. But the GenX parents prefer to leave this important transforming period of the child to him alone. Leave alone the efforts being made by some concerned parents, our children today don’t seem to liken even the idea of being advised, counseled by elders. Respect for the elders and the society at large is construed as part of a daily chore which can be broken and not as a social obligation and necessity. Being polite, gentle and obedient is often misread by our youngsters as “too sissy” and “unmanly” to their Hip-Hop school of thought. Any strict parents who try to restore some certain level of discipline, decency, order and decorum in the family are bluntly dismissed as been too ‘conservative’. So what do we do? Return to the old dictum ‘stick-policy’ rules? Or yell “we don’t want any Martian children here!” The mercurial change that has come over the children of conservative background and their families, the present media, schools, parents and society itself have all contributed their bit. The first exposure to the western morals came through the satellite television, which served and treated families and children with odd uncensored and outrageous stuff. Irresponsible, ‘soft-hearted’ working parents leave their children all alone with television as their only mentor and entertainer. Vulnerable children with little or no discriminatory power are impressed with the behavior as portrayed in the movies, mega serials, talk shows, music videos, commercials etc as normal and casual behavior. The advance in technology promised and befittingly compensated the child’s crave for freedom and ‘time-pass’ with the onset of internet revolution and now the mobile evolution. Precisely this may be the fountainhead of all frivolities and promiscuity.
Just how many parents are concerned if not curious to know about their child in the outer confines of their homes? Bunking classes have become a ‘life-style’. This is actually when the behavioral freedom is unleashed. It has become a regular instance to see our students loitering around shops with 500 rupee note. School recess period are often the best time to catch up some cigarettes, chew tobacco or visit the pan corners. Being able to move around school campus with neckties off and shirt buttons off are considered as ‘manly’ and ‘tough’; blindly but keenly emulated by the younger ones. Another school of thought teaches that carrying a minimal amount of books to school is ‘smart’ and sporting fussy and spiky hairstyles to class is considered ‘fashionable’. So what do we call those who prefer to wear their pants loosely at knee-length? Absurdity or up-to-date? And yes, thanks to the mobile revolution, our school kids are endorsing the latest mobiles in the class-rooms. Coming to schools and colleges on latest bikes and four wheelers is not uncommon. They call it ‘status symbol’. So with the ratio slimming down thinner and thinner, we hardly have a handful of ‘good’ ‘obedient’ school boys and girls who sincerely, purposefully go to school to learn. Off the class periods, we find our ever ‘inquisitive’ students flocking the internet cafes donning the school uniforms. Purpose: Chatting. Chat IDs: the weirdest names on earth….from Osama to Eminem. Duration: till the last coin in the pocket is parted off or until the café operator gives the ‘closure’ call. The Benefits: the latest slangs and song lyrics. Back home, the rap, hip-hop music comes thundering from their rooms. Last overheard discussion: Daughter: ‘Dad, our teacher suggests us to read lots of newspapers and magazine. Why don’t we subscribe?” Dad pats her daughter on the back and says, “Good suggestion. Prepare the list right away”. The list: RECORD music magazine, Sportstar, Femina, Cosmopolitan. Father checks the list, quips in disbelief but agrees. A week later, the girl come to class with a beautifully and creatively wrapped book and opens the book in front of the disbelieving, awestruck classmates. Then as she flips one page after another, the cut-out pictures of her gorgeous idols – singers, sportspersons, models and actors appear in their stunning postures, giving a real feast to the eyes of the onlookers. By the month-end, all of them would be having a collection each. They think this is one fitting way of paying tribute to their role models, their idols.
The aims of our educational institutions among which is to inculcate the spirit of discipline and civility ironically find themselves showing indifferent attitude to such ‘modern-trendy’ and street smart behaviour of our youths. Temerity and liberty of the youth is flaring up as most of the imposed school and family inhibitions are relaxed. Our boys and girls are finding or getting comfort with each other. They think they are serving the purpose right but which are all beyond the norms upheld before. Casual flings and crushes and flirtations are quite common place that are summed up to the otherwise monotonous life of a long struggle with books both at schools and colleges. It is worth seeing the affairs between a boy and a girl proliferate like viruses and also die out equally fast. So, the number of girlfriends and boyfriends one has become the yardstick of smartness and coolness. It is clear acception that getting emotionally attached with someone is assinity, if it be at the cost of your plans and ambition. But today’s youngsters who are all up to seek fun and excitement cavort around the campuses, streets and the darker shades with arms entwined. They care no whit of diffidence and wariness even for teachers, professors or elders. This culture is escalating in rapidity coupled with rising sceptism and impatience.
Trends extant in school going children are those of routine dating, physical and emotional intimacies with the opposite sex- intra-school or inter school mates and classmates that denotes ‘status symbol’. Curiosity, coupled by little or total lack of sex education result in juvenile sex.
With all razzmatazz of a fast life, the youth are generally confused about their true feelings and proper implications in a relationship. The result is that many times inspite of precautions, street-smartness, boldness, shrewdness, sex education and even AIDS awareness, they are trapped in quagmires of pre-marital sex. They go about sporting casual flings, flirtation, physical and erotic indulgences. It has become so easy and accessible for our youngsters to visit local brew vendor or cafeterias and pick up beers and other hard drinks without been noticed or objected by the society. However, the much bigger threat comes from our youth taking up drugs as their favourite past-time. Because of the unfriendly smell of the alcohol and the scarcity of other hard drugs, our youths are finding so much solace in the comfort of cheaper drugs like Spasmo (SP) and Relipen (RP) tablets, Phensedyle. Nobody knew who the hell introduced them to use of adhesives like Dendrite etc. Whatever may be the case, one thing is certain to all – parents and teachers are losing their hold over vulnerable children who are otherwise labelled the pillars of our future society.
Appearances are fast becoming an important parameter to for one to catch up with the society and be ‘in-the-swim’. Huge clientele are obviously drawn towards fashion industry and beauty saloons etc. Schools and colleges are fast turning into daily ramps to parade the latest apparel collection. This ‘past time’ is surrogating all reading habits, games and creative activities. If media has brought us invariably closer to world events, it has also not failed to put our youngsters so close to the global village. If it took Gianni Versace his lifetime to introduce his fashion 10 years ago, it hardly took a month today for the whole kids in town to don brown hair colour, mostly emulated from the Arirang TV artistes and other models. Then came the spiky/spunky hairs, originally Beckham’s. What next? So what about a ‘Naga’ cut? Not until Ronaldo, Eminem, Limp Biskit does that. Our fashion-obsessed youngsters are prudently, keenly watching and waiting.
So who’s the most beautiful girl in town? Or the best drinks in town? The party-goers know them best. Parties which were little known some years back are today a part of even today’s school-goers. Youngsters would just hate to dismiss it as alien to our culture, our society. Infact, they have grown up to be a part of it. The indigenous cuisines have today been surrogated by alcohol drinks and spicy foods and Party dances have come to replace the old traditional dance. Our youngsters are found comfortably hip-hoping in sensuous body movements to bawdy lyrics till late hours. I stand the risk of being sidelined by the GenX people for my advocacy of the old traditional way of life and denouncing the western dances. However, drawing the comparative merits and credentials, the former apparently characterises more essence and value than party dances which is the hallmark of indecency and promiscuity. Dance as a way of expressing one’s feelings must not be subjected to any degree of indecency and vulgarity nor it be misused as an opportunity to make one’s life live for a day. At any extent of understanding, dance should not be at the cost of loosing one’s integrity and identity.
Simply, our parents no longer moralise their children. And perhaps, this may precisely be the reason why teachers also adopt a ‘hands-off’ attitude. Liberty bestowed upon the children is unsurpassed therefore allow late night parties, a free hand at the remote control of cable television. The child’s craze and obsession for the ‘mind-blowing’ rock, rap and hip-hop music and of course the financial flamboyance goes un-objected. All such liberties at a very early age may well be the reason for permissiveness.
People talk about of falling values, but which ones? The youth have also seen concepts distorted from social justice to cultural pride and identity, so they shun morals and merits. Our youth largely represent lack of integrity of character and faith in themselves. This is also just the beginning of the end of faith in the values of our society.
Then just what do we do with the menace of ‘Permissiveness’? The symptoms are many and nefarious/multifarious but the antidotes are few. Though it might seem insurmountable as moving down a whole mountain, it is fervently believed that given some little extra concern and thought, just as a drop of water makes the huge difference to the ocean, we might be found worthy of the effort we make today for the larger cause of restoring honour, glory, decency and dignity to our society.
Our society has enough reasons to sit up and worry about this drift of the youth; if not the rapidity with which this conflagration is spreading might engulf the entire society.
