Al Ngullie
Ministers and farmers alike revere it; the old, the young, rich and the poor alike refuse to deny its indispensability; it is the one color of common bond highlighting the dignity of Naga hospitability and relational reciprocation; it is the one emotional appendage reminding all Nagas that they are one, a family, a race, a people, one nation; it is the most definitive mascot of the Naga people’s legacy of cultural renaissance, unity, assembly, well-being and health. Ladies and gentlemen let me present to you our very own Naga icon…our much-acknowledged, much-beloved pig!
The contribution of these odorous creatures to us grateful Nagas will forever be remembered for oinks to come. Sorry, eons to come, I mean. No other “Naga citizen” (hope I don’t encourage hell from political purists by making this statement!) has contributed so much to the…huh…renaissance of…er…cultural change as the ubiquitous pig has. From miniscule fire-piles of paddy fields to cottage hearths, outpost townships to the tables of Kohima/Dimapur’s High-And-Mighty buffets, there the rather unutterably blob-shaped mammal is. In scrumptious pieces, of course. What despicable, unholy place in Nagaland is that refuse the honor of welcome to the mammal’s delicious…er…gracious presence? Let curses be by the thousands! May swarms of greedy, money-starved land encroachers swoop down upon the area that refuses the eternally iconic presence of the pig!!
A section of the swine population are perhaps ruing why their ancestors first walked into this side of Mongolia, centuries ago. After all it is only because of their ancestors foraying into the Nagas’ territories that everything even faintly resembling the thing is promptly slaughtered. Unfortunate, this is. However, it cannot be denied that no other Naga member has contributed to the Nagas’ culture as the omnipresent mammal has. This animal possesses no talent at playing the guitar, grab its neighbor’s land or write featherbrained press releases. Nevertheless, the impact it has had on Nagaland is beyond the realms of human imagination.
Here are some of the manifestations of the inspiration Citizen Pig has had on the Naga people (I am also one of the pig’s biggest fans in the habit department).
• Remembering pigs, we make sure there are no waste materials littered about. Every time an extra appears, we promptly dispose them off– into our neighbor’s yard.
• Inspired by the swine, we Nagas never use dustbins or garbage pits. Rather, three-weeks-old garbage would stealthily fly onto the nearest ‘government road’ available near one’s house, before the roosters sound the wake-up call.
• Check your bathroom nullah – it’s probably flowing into your beloved neighbor’s dinning room; look around town and it would be a miracle if you find an immaculate turf; heard of public hygiene? It’s also called, in Naga parlance, “social work” days, you see.
• In salutation to the creature’s monumentally repulsive digestive biological mechanism, streets and their corners, at night, are ‘lit’ up by a colorful assemblage of lumps symbolizing a good digestive system that just pulverized yesterday’s dinner. This act of honor is undertaken only by a privileged few, who are said to be highly esteemed among the Still-In-The-Stone-Age population.
• In honor of the beast, we construct our toilets/septic tanks facing the church building, or usually our immediate neighbors’ dinning room, which conveniently happened to be adjacent to the plot in question.
• Further, in a likened act of honor, we gorge our mouthy selves dizzy at gatherings (especially parties) where the customary food orgy is, of course, among the programme items. It doesn’t matter if the host would later die of heart attack that there’s no food left for his family, it’s a party and food is free, no!?
• …and oh yes, just pile your mini-Mt. Everest, nibble a half-quarter of it, and throw the rest it away! What a fitting bow to the swine!
Unfortunately, like everything in life, the inspiration from pigs, has incurred a price:
• These walking edibles have become so influential and powerful that they are now breaching civility and public decorum: no wonder the Kohima DC issued a shoot-at-sight order to rein in street-smart, modern day, cool Naga pigs. You wouldn’t want President APJ Kalam to think Nagas are, in fact, pigs no!
• Nagaland is a smelly state. Local perfume types, you know.
• Taking advantage of Naga hospitability, the swine population is no more in dread to freely bring in their buddies – mosquitoes. And malaria. And elephantiasis.
• What cows and bullock carts are to Indian cities, pigs are…you know…you know the rest….
• And we’d thought Nagaland had a proper state mascot. Poor Mithun…..
All these cancer-friendly tidbits are involuntary salutations to our great Citizen Pig for its contribution. Or perhaps we consume a heck lot of pork that we have begun to absorb the creature’s sensibilities. I’m 100% sure. So I thought to invent the term ‘True-Pork-Blooded-Naga.’ Oinks to that.
