Bob’s Banter

  • Today, I’m Getting that Ball..!
    Ah, the joys of grandparenting! For the last few days, I’ve been surrounded by the children of my two daughters. But it’s little Layla—just eight months old—who has been eyeing me with a mix of suspicio
  • Stray Dogs and the Judiciary..!
    Now Jeff, my fierce, handsome German Shepherd, has been gone nigh on three years. But this morning, as I read the news about the judiciary and stray dogs, I could have sworn I felt him beside me. And sure enoug
  • Independence Day and Independent Thinking..!
    Today, the tricolour will be hoisted. The brass band will play the Jana Gana Mana. Politicians will stand straight—well, as straight as one can while still checking if the TV cameras are catching the good sid
  • My Café Conclusion..!
    I was sitting in a café in New York today, watching the world walk past my table. This was unlike other eateries—people came here alone, not with their families.Next to me was a white American who had initia
  • Let’s Start Walking Our Talk Sir..!
    I read the news report with a smile—one of those polite, tight-lipped smiles you give when someone’s trying to sell you something you know you already paid for.It said, “Zelensky calls Modi; Modi tells hi
  • Pappu, Fill the Forms, Please..!
    As I listened to Rahul Gandhi’s emphatic, fact-backed, passionate proof of the Election Commission’s complicity in massive voter fraud—proof worked out like a neat school project with all the answers righ
  • Tariffs, Tyrants and Truth..!
    Sometimes, dear reader, we get so busy winning a little skirmish that we forget there’s a full-blown war still raging. Right now, our television screens are filled with chest-thumping over the “battle” wi
  • Less Brains, More Bhajiyas..!
    Breaking news! Breaking news! Hold on to your samosas, ladies and gentlemen, because the Ministry of Education—yes, that ministry, the one meant to sharpen minds and sculpt futures—has just declared war…
  • The Great Run East..!
    Somewhere in Shanghai, the tall Chinaman looked at the other Chinaman and chuckled, “I can see someone running toward us.”“Who?” asked the second Chinaman, lifting his teacup with casual indifference.
  • If The World Was A Café..!
    This evening I have a rather unusual appointment. Not with a producer or a publisher, but with a few respected members of the Jewish community here in New York. No, not to debate politics or discuss theology. B
  • Hail the Bail..!
    And so, they walked out. Heads covered. Eyes tired. Shoulders slumped—not in defeat, but from ten days of sleeping on cold concrete and listening to threats that would’ve shaken the average street-hardened
  • The Hugger-In-Chief..!
    Ever been hugged when you didn’t want to be? You know the kind—when a distant uncle at a wedding suddenly clamps you in a bear hug, and you emerge gasping for air, smelling of his aftershave for the next th
  • Tall Men Shouldn’t Bend..!
    There’s something majestic about a tall man or woman walking straight and proud. And no, I don’t just mean the ones who make you crane your neck at the airport. I mean those whose stature lies not in centim
  • The Arrogance of Our Nation..!
    Arrogance, my dear reader, is not a trait you’ll find in confident people. It’s what you find in people who haven’t found themselves. And unfortunately, it’s become the new national dress code. Not khad
  • A Vice-President Resigns..!
    Seventy-four.In most families today, that’s the age you’re expected to finally go on that Europe trip, take up pottery, or chase your grandkids around the living room—not resign from the second-highest of
  • A Country Crippled by the Past..!
    Quite often—no, delete that—very often, a good psychologist, especially the expensive kind who has a couch and not just a chair, goes deep into a patient’s past. “Tell me about your childhood,” they m
  • An Indian Makeover Is a Must..!
    Was chatting yesterday with an editor of an American magazine. Now she may have looked like the average Manhattan professional—coffee in one hand, laptop in the other—but she was born in Taiwan. “My count
  • Andy the Ant..!
    “Humans,” sighed Andy the little Ant, flattening himself against a cracked tile, “have only one purpose in life: to kill us!”His mother, veteran of many a kitchen swabbing raid and the Great Pest Contro
  • Learning the Local Language..!
    Hey guys! Yes, you—with the raised fists and the angry slogans, thrashing that helpless commuter just because he couldn’t say, “Where’s the bus stop?” in your language. Here's some breaking news: in j
  • The Retired Chief Justice and Mercy..!
    Ah, how the mighty are judged!Just a few months ago, the then Chief Justice of India, DY Chandrachud, was The Law. His name, attached to landmark verdicts.But now? He stands accused—of overstaying in his offi
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